More depth could be given by considering people involved in the government who had a significant impact on the events during the Famine. People like Sir Robert Peel or Lord John Russell who were in important positions within the British Parliament and could have made significant impact on the Irish if they had had the support they needed. Projects that these men proposed were mentioned in the paper, but not nearly described in detail as to the effects they had, or the solutions they attempted to put in place.
There was some vagueness in which diseases plagued Ireland when typhus, dysentery and roadside deaths which later are referred to as deaths from roadside starvation. Other awkward points were claims that Irish ate twelve to fourteen pounds of potatoes per day, the mention of distilleries without any explanation of what importance they had or outdoor relief, and whether corn was an import or an export. Indian corn was arranged to be imported from the United States to help offset the food shortage. But this was later repealed by the British government when they deemed the famine to be over despite further hardships economically and agriculturally. Verbage in the paper makes it seem as though no one expected the famine to continue, and this is mostly true, but the writer neglects to mention why they believed the famine to be short. Several times within the fifty years before the Great Famine (1801, 1817, 1821, and 1831) there had been smaller, shorter famines.
It was difficult to understand what was going on in Britain from the paper's description of the financial crisis England went through in 1847 when their harvest nearly failed which led to a recession. The paper mentions few of the difficulties experienced during this recession and concludes with a mention of companies being embarassed with no further discussion of what the embarassments were, or what effects resulted.
Programs that Parliament began to aid the Irish such as the workhouses or public works are merely touched upon without an explanation of what they entailed. It was never told who was involved in providing the relief, whether the English or Irish government or the land lords, or who qualified for the relief.
Timing is another issue that is confusing. The paper does not go into detail regarding timing with the programs, debates in Parliament or the small British harvest of 1847. It is a crucial aspect of how these events happened in relation to each other that contributes greatly to the severity of the Famine and the losses it incurred which could have been stemmed had the timing been better. There was also an election that took place in the middle of the Famine which caused the members of Parliament involved with it to choose carefully how the problem of the Irish was faced for political hopes.
Several times throughout the paper the mention is made that the Irish government believed the results of the Famine to be benificial. This should be questioned more thoroughly throughout the length of the paper in terms of what problems existed before the Famine, and how they were addressed, whether successfully or not, and what problems remained still. By examining the time before and after the famine and comparing the circumstances, it seems logical that though problems brought by overpopulation were solved by the lower population after the Famine, little of the suffering during the Famine would be seen as beneficial.
Emphasis should be taken off of colloquialisms which will assist the writer in achieving a more academic tone in the paper. Phrases such as having one's "hands full", ...from "the States", going to "the Continent", or "as it turns out". They may be replaced by was occupied, from the United States, going to the European mainland, or simply Europe, or as a result.
The technical difficulties in the paper are few. One is with italics in paragraph eight, what appears is "...". The 'i' should be ' I '. One other formatting error occurred earlier in the paper. Between paragraphs six and seven there is a single sentence that is separated without seeming to be a suitable one-sentence paragraph.
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