|
Texts
A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Fortinbras Hamlet The Hudson Book of Fiction (Fiction) A Pocketful of Essays (Essays) Theatre of War
|
1. Assignment #1 (click)
2. Sample papers for Assignment
#2 (click)
3. Assignment #2 (click)
4. Assignment #3 (click)
5. "To be" exercise (click)
6. Assignment #4 (click)
7. Assignment #5 (click)
8. Pronoun exercise (click)
9. Fortinbras motif/theme lists (click)
| WEEK | DAY | READINGS | TOPICS AND ACTIVITIES |
| WK1 | Aug 24 | Introduction to Course | Diagnostic writing |
| Aug 26 | Essays: Dillard, 13; Hughes, 19 | Story with purpose; discuss Paper#1 (click) | |
| Aug 28 | Essays: Didion, 43 | Detail; concrete vs. abstract | |
| WK 2 | Aug 31 | Essays: Mitford, 67; Tannen, 75; Baker, 85 | Process--with a purpose |
| Sep 2 | Essays: Britt, 91; Catton, 95 | Comparison & contrast--with a purpose | |
| Sep 4 | Open | In-class editing (click) | |
| WK 3 | Sep 7 | No Class--Labor Day | R&R |
| Sep 8 | A "Monday Tuesday"--Open | Review Paper #1; assign Paper #2 (click) | |
| Sep 9 | Open | Sentences faults, coherence, wordiness (click) | |
| Sep 11 | Essays: Buckley, 49; Dershowitz, 57 | Using examples with a purpose Quiz | |
| WK 4 | Sep 14 | Open | In-class work on Paper #2 |
| Sep 16 | Essays: Nilsen, 121; Toth, 135 | Ordered analysis--classification & division | |
| Sep 18 | Essays: Bettelheim, 151; Ehrenreich, 155 | Ordered analysis--definition Quiz | |
| WK 5
|
Sep 21 | Open | In-class editing (click); Assign Paper #3 |
| Sep 23 | Essays: Steele, 173; King, 167 | Argumentation--the purpose of all writing; Pronouns (click) | |
| Sep 25 | No Class--compensatory time | Find Magzine Ads | |
| WK 6 | Sep 28 | Bring "ads" to class | Analyze "ads" |
| Sep 30 | Essays: Swift, 185 | Satire; character for a purpose Quiz | |
| Oct 2 | Fiction: "A&P," 211 | Basics of reading fiction | |
| WK 7 | Oct 5 | Fiction: "The Cask of Amontillado," 11 | Self-exposing narration; details again Quiz |
| Oct 7 | Theatre of War: Ajax (Talking Points) | Expectations of tragedy; Free will/destiny problem | |
| Oct 9 | Ajax, cont. | Function of supporting characters; Ajax's "problem"? | |
| WK 8 | Oct 12 | No Class--Columbus Day | R&R |
| Oct 14 | Philoctetes | Tragedy or comedy? Central character? Heroic world view | |
| Oct 16 | Philoctetes, cont. | Why this play with Ajax? Coming of age in drama? | |
| WK 9
|
Oct 19 | Fiction: "The Bride Comes. . . ," 29 | Incongruities and the domestication of the West |
| Oct 21 | Fiction: "The Storm," 38 | Nature description as meaning | |
| Oct 23 | Fiction: "Araby," 58 | Epiphany, imagery, setting | |
| WK10 | Oct 26 | Fiction: "The Rocking-Horse Winner," 137 | Romance |
| Oct 28 | Fiction: "A Rose for Emily," 160 | Complex tone and characterization (Quiz) Chronology (click) vs. narration |
|
| Oct 30 | Fiction: "Hills Like White Elephants," 149 | Dialogue as story-telling | |
| WK11 | Nov 2 | Open | Review |
| Nov 4 | Fortinbras, complete | Strategies of Reading--"naturalizing" ghosts | |
| Nov 6 | Fortinbras | Staging problems; series of jokes or serious? | |
| WK12 | Nov 9 | Fortinbras | Themes? Central Character? Breaking borders! |
| Nov 11 | NO CLASS--VETERAN'S DAY | R&R | |
| Nov 13 | Open | Review | |
| WK13 | Nov 16 | Hamlet, Act 1 | Exposition of themes |
| Nov 18 | Hamlet, Acts 2 & 3 | Motives? Women vs. men? Hamet's "issues"? | |
| Nov 20 | Hamlet, Act 4 | Sollioquies; function of minor characters | |
| WK14 | Nov 23 | Hamlet, complete | Does Hamlet learn or change or what? |
| Nov 25 | Hamlet, review | Fortinbras; tragedy revisited. | |
| Nov 27 | NO CLASS--THANKSGIVING LEAVE | R&R | |
| WK15 | Nov 30 | Open | View scenes from Hamlet |
| Dec 2 | A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Acts 1 & 2 | Exposition of themes and basic imagery | |
| Dec 4 | A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Act 3 | Life as mendacity | |
| WK16 | Dec 7 | NO CLASS--Compensatory Time | |
| Dec 9 | A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, cont. | Who is the main character? Tragedy? | |
| Paper #5 Due | Dec 11 | Conclusions |
|
1. Goals, Grading Standards, Statement on Plagiarism. See Guidelines for HE111 and 112 . 2. Assignments and Grading.
3. Course Policies. a) You must do all papers and announced in-class work in order to pass the course. b) Do not assume that I will be reasonable about late papers; in fact, expect wildly arbitrary and inconsistent behavior from me if you choose to hand in an essay late. c) You can rewrite--not superficially revise--two essays. The re-write is due a week before the next paper is due. The grade for the rewritten essay will replace that of the original, provided that it is a better grade. However, I encourage you to re-write before you hand in your essays. To that end, I'm always happy to help you along with your drafts before you turn in a final version. Stop by my office or get in touch with me via e-mail. 4. Class Meetings. Discussion of assigned readings and other projects, punctuated occasionally by short, informal lectures. A good deal of in-class writing, especially work on producing coherent paragraphs. 5. Office Hours. In Sampson 224, MWF 1st and 6th periods and T 9-11 & 2:30-3:30. I read my e-mail frequently, so you won't have any trouble getting hold of me. My office phone is 36201.
|
|
I. Course Description. In Rhetoric and Introduction to Literature (HE111-112), literature is the springboard for teaching composition. In the two courses, you study the principles of composition and apply them in written responses to your readings. This combination of composition and literature provides you with experience in performing diverse writing tasks and challenges you to understand and appreciate the ways in which literature expresses human and cultural values. During the first semester, instructors assign frequent writing tasks designed to help you master content, organization, diction, style, and mechanics. They also introduce you to the principles of writing critically about the short story and drama. In the second semester, instructors require more sophisticated essays in which you write about poetry and the novel, and they will introduce you to using the library's resources, documenting material correctly, and quoting, paraphrasing, and summarizing accurately. II. Objectives. 1. To improve your ability to read critically and sensitively various kinds of literature. 2. To develop your confidence and style as a writer so that you can: a. turn a general topic into a purposeful thesis;
b. shape your composition so that it has a beginning, middle, and
end and so that its organization and content serve
c. write fully developed and coherent paragraphs employing such methods
of development as summary, narration,
d. edit your sentences so that they vary one from the other, so that
they depend mainly on the active voice and
e. use the resources of the library to research a topic and document the results. 2. To improve your ability to read critically and sensitively various kinds of literature. 3. To enhance your understanding and appreciation of cultural values and basic human issues through the study of literature. III. Evaluation of Written Work. Your instructors will evaluate your writing to help you to achieve the objectives described above, reading your essays carefully, commenting on both their strengths and weaknesses, and expecting you to use those comments to improve your subsequent writing. Part of the evaluating role of the instructor is to assign a grade to your work. Although not all instructors assign grades to every paper, the Academy requires instructors to report grades about every six weeks, and you should be aware of the following guidelines. 1. Criteria for Grading Writing Assignments:
A:
The A essay shows originality of thought in stating and developing
a controlling idea or thesis. It employs the
B:
The B essay has many of the traits of the A essay, but is
usually
lacking in one or two areas such as completeness
C:
The C essay has a central idea and a basic plan of organization,
though that organization breaks down at certain
D. The D essay shows little understanding of the topic;
it usually lacks a controlling idea, and if it states an idea,
F. The F essay is unsatisfactory. It fails to state
and develop a main idea, often because it does not respond to the
(1) sentence fragments (click
here)
2. Literacy and a Passing Grade: Instructors will not automatically assign a failing grade to the paper in which some of the seven faults repeatedly occur, especially when the paper has strength in its content or ideas. However, if you habitually commit several of these mechanical errors in your essay and do not make definite progress toward avoiding them by the end of the term, your instructor is likely to judge your semester's work as unsatisfactory. You would do well, then, to study all your handbook has to say about these writing faults so as to avoid them in your writing. Good ideas deserve good presentation. IV. Avoiding Plagiarism. At the U.S. Naval Academy, the least severe consequence of detected plagiarism is a failing mark on the paper containing the violation. Since plagiarism is a combination of lying, cheating, and stealing and as such constitutes a violation of the honor concept (see USNAINST 1610.3f), plagiarism could result in your dismissal from the Academy. The moral: do not sacrifice your personal integrity and professional potential in such high risk activity. You would be wise to read the sections on plagiarism and documentation in your handbook, where you'll find the correct way to handle writing and ideas that are not your own. |
| Assignment
for Paper #1 (For a sample essay on this topic click
here)
For sample successful student papers from the past click here . Prompt:
write about something that matters to you. In the broadest sense, the purpose
of the paper is for you to use the explanation of what matters as an introduction of yourself to the others in the class. And of course
most specifically it is for you to convince us that what you say matters
really does matter to you.
Due: 4 Sep Length: about 3 pages, doubled-spaced Format: 12 point font, 1 inch margins, no title page (put title at top of first page) Audience: instructor and classmates Expectations:
1) preference for the concrete over the general in your diction; 2)purposefulness
in the description and explanation so that you convince us why this "thing"
really matters to you; 3) control of agreement and consistency in point
of view ("person") of pronouns (click
here click
here); 4) control of agreement of subject and verbs (click
here); and 5) an interesting and also "controlling" opening
paragraph.
|
|
Steps to take with any paper, late in the drafting process: 1. Circle all occurrences of to be verbs, except those in quotes. to be
2. Count all the to be verbs you have circled. 3. Count your sentences, excluding quotations. 4. Divide the number of to be verbs by the number of sentences. 40% and below suggests that you have probably taken the time actually to think about and choose the verbs in your sentences. You have avoided the following structures:
the passive voice
Clickhere
for some examples of how to turn to be sentences into active ones.
Read about the passive voice and active verbs in your Handbook, as well.
|
| Instructions: analyze
carefully the workings of an advertisement from a magazine. Discuss
the way in which its parts—the wording of its captions and its illustrations,
for instance, even its dependence on cultural assumptions about such matters
as power, sexuality, gender—develop a certain appeal directed at a certain
audience. In making its appeal the advertisement will probably forgo
careful, correct reasoning: it will fail to define its terms; it
will "beg the question"; it will flatter its audience; and it will commit
some of the other "logical fallacies" mentioned in your writing handboook.
Be alert for those illogical techniques. Also be alert for hidden
ideological assumptions, such as the ones about progress and female attractiveness
that the sample essays (click)
uncover.
Your paper will have a narrow thesis identifying the "ad's" appeal and naming the "ad's" major methods of making that appeal. The body of the paper will explain those methods. Due date: 19 October Length: about 3 pages Audience: your classmates and I, who—because you will attach the "ad" to your paper-- will be looking at the "ad" as you explain how it works. Importantly, this means you do not need to describe the "ad" as if the audience has not seen it. Other: make up an interesting, appropriate title. Expectations: Consult Assignment #1 (click here) to recall those elements (for pronouns click here and click here); for subject verb agreement click here) that you have been working on so far this term. In this paper also concentrate on 1) limiting the use of the "to be" verb and the passive voice (click here); 2) writing fully developed paragraphs that have a clear idea and organization and occur within the paper in the best, most logical, and most persuasive sequence; 3) concluding your paper in a way that doesn't just restate the thesis (that's way too mechanical!); 4) eliminating misplaced and dangling modifiers (click here for a discussion of this grammatical problem); and 5) employing the comma (click here), semi-colon (click here), and colon (click here) with some finesse. |
|
a) Off the coast of Lisbon, variances
of kindness are shown when a storm strikes
the protagonist's boat and an earthquake strikes the mainland.
b) It is
Candide's simplicity which entices the reader to care even a bit as to
what happens to him.
c) Clearly human
excrement is
offensive to Gulliver.
d) Excrement for
Swift is
representative of part of his dislike for mankind.
e) Despite the
detrimental effects produced by each violation, something is
gained from the horrific act which ensues . . .
d) This kind of
exploitation is
the very essence of the Englightenment.
|
| Assignment #2
Due: 21 September Prompt:
a) Examine carefully the reliability of a commonly used saying. For example, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"; "let a sleeping dog lie"; "a rolling stone gathers no moss"; still waters run deep"; "the early bird gets the worm"; "better lucky than good"; and so on. Put the saying to the test; that is, examine whether or not it really holds up under scrutiny as reliable advice or description of the way things are. What are the saying's limits? Have you heard it used and, if so, by whom? Describe situations/people--actual or hypothetical--that demonstrate the reliability and/or the limits of the saying. What assumptions about people lie behind it? These and more questions ought to "get you cooking" on this option, if you're so inclined to pursue it. Don't limit yourself to the examples mentioned above; there are plenty more where they came from. Click here and click here in order to go to sites listing a wagon-load of them. b) Use definition and comparison and contrast for the purpose of making a distinction that you think is important and would be interesting to your audience. For instance, you could explore the difference between a "flamer" and task-master in the hall in order to define a successful leader. You could explain the difference between or compare a scapegoat and a "screen" in order to define for us more clearly what a "screen" is. Obviously there are many other aspects of the Bancroft-Academy life that could use good analysis via definition and comparison/contrast. You might want to persuade someone that golfers are not athletes by defining the difference between a game and a sport. To prove some point about the decline of popular taste in American (or the opposite) you could explore the difference between a football crowd and one at a baseball game. Let these stand, please, as suggestions. You can think of other distinctions and or comparisons that are worth making in order to prove a point. And that's the important thing about this approach: that you employ comparison and contrast and definition only to serve a purpose you have, a point that you want to get your audience to see and agree with. Sample Student Papers: (click) Audience: classmates and instructor Length:3-4 pages Expectations: Consult Assignment #1 (click here) to recall elements already introduced. For pronouns click here and click here; for subject-verb agreementclick here. In this paper also concentrate on 1) limiting the use of the "to be" verb and the passive voice (click here ); 2) writing fully developed paragraphs that have a clear idea and organization and occur within the paper in the best, most logical, and most persuasive sequence; 3) concluding your paper in a way that doesn't just restate the thesis (that's way too mechanical!); 4) eliminating misplaced and dangling modifiers (click here for a discussion of this grammatical problem); and 5) employing the comma (click here), semi-colon (click here), and colon (click here) with some finesse. |
|
Jamaica Kincaid's "Girl" (click here to read this very short story) is the first story I've read—and probably the only one I'll ever read--that consists of a single sentence and virtually no action and dialogue. Still, that interminable sentence, along with the imperative and instructive tone of its fifty or more clauses, creates a voice that builds a full-fledged character and a story displaying two sides of a single coin—an excessive desire to manage the world through the tyranny of tradition and respectability and the oppression to which that leads. This "story" involves two voices, that of the maternal figure and, twice, that of the "girl" who receives the matronly advice. The girl's voice emerges in the two italicized clauses, each beginning with "but." This physical fact of the story, the two frail, meek "but clauses" spoken by the girl, within the single torrent of information and instruction laid down by the other voice, expresses clearly the relationship between the two along a line drawn by a series of oppositions: knowledge of how to "do things" vs. lack of knowledge of those procedures; bold confidence vs. meekness; experience vs. innocence; a strong voice vs. near silence. However, no clear exchange seems to occur across that line. On the two occasions when the girl's voice emerges, the two voices work at cross-purposes. First the girl interrupts by telling her mother (that's what I'll call the matronly voice) that she "don't sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school." This responds to the older woman's suspicious question, "is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?" In response to the girl's claim that she doesn't sing the forbidden songs, however, the mother simply keeps on going with her list about how to sew a button, how to make the button hole, etc. If the mother were really concerned and "connected" with her child, I would expect her to say something such as, "that's good you don't sing benna at church." On the second intrusion of the girl's voice, once again the mother does not respond in kind, retorting instead with a rhetorical, almost accusatory question. The girl innocently asks, "but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?" The mother responds: "you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?" In a profound way, the mother's response misses the point: the girl asks a searching question and the mother rhetorically hands down a kind of reputation-linked judgment. All this—the shear volume of the mother's instruction and the meek entries into the stream of instruction by the girl—obliterates the daughter's identity and individuality. Along with this shear volume, the actual instructions and the way in which the mother gives them, smother any chance, it seems, of the girl achieving individuality. The instructions depend on the imperative voice, on the order confidently given: "wash the white clothes . . . and put them on the stone heap"; "cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil; soak . . ." and so on (emphasis added). Command after command! The only relief comes when the mother begins to use the "this is how" formula about a third of the way through the giant sentence: "this is how you "iron," "sew," "grow," "set a table," "behave in the presence of men," "sweep a corner," even how to abort a fetus ("how to throw away a child before it even becomes a child"). Clearly the mother does not offer the child a choice; she simply commands her to do various things in certain ways. The things about which she gives the child directions involve largely the kind of work that identifies and confines women: sewing, cooking, laundering, and learning how to love and be loved by men. And her advice directs the child not only to success in each one of these tasks but to respectability: "always eat your food in such a way that it won't turn someone else's stomach"; "this is how to behave in the presence of men who don't know you very well"; and "don't squat down to play marbles—you are not a boy, you know." The two concerns get combined in what functions almost as a refrain in the story: the three, perhaps four, variations on the phrase "the slut you are bent on becoming." I say, "perhaps four" above, because the final clause of this story-sentence, the mother's response to the child's question about what if the baker doesn't allow her near the bread, closely resembles this refrain. After all, if she is the kind of woman the baker won't allow near the bread, she is likely known as a slut. What's more, she is likely to be known also as a woman who does not possess the passed down, traditional wisdom into which her mother indoctrinates her. Here, as throughout, the indoctrination of the girl into woman's work and the proper way to do it merges with an almost tyrannical concern with respectability. Thus, the mother's directions can become quite troubling. Everything she tells her daughter does communicate some key about how to manipulate and control the world around her. However, the mother's imperious, dictatorial tone and the subjects about which she gives her daughter advice—respect for tradition and respectability and close adherence to her gender role dictated by society—require the daughter to obey in an unquestioning way, to give up control over her life, in other words. This is what I mean by two sides of the same coin: the control of the world that the mother commands of her daughter is also a form of oppression. Not surprising, then, that the story's title is "Girl." This term captures not only the child's inferior position in the exchange, but the role to which she is doomed no matter what her age. The mother's imperiousness, I would venture to say, is nothing more than a function of her having been treated as "girl" by her mother.
|
Clarity and Consistency with Pronouns The following sentences culled from student essays llustrate some common problems with pronouns; these problems at best become irritating distractions for your reader and at worst muddle you idea. Simply include a step in the editing process to make sure that the pronouns match up with each other and with nouns, and that they are in the correct case. Purple marks the location of the problem(s).
1. Anyone has the ability to buy their way to a full bag, but it takes a different kind of persistent person to accomplish what I had in mind. 2. This isn't the only thing that influences my opinions of other people, but it is hard to tell what someone is like mentally and emotionally from just looking at them for a little while. 3. Each season me and my brother, who recently turned eighteen, had to be participating in some kind of organized athletics. 4. I also need to have the shampoo either on a hanging basket or on the left side as you face the shower head. 5. It was a night that I will soon nor forget, and I learned a very important lesson that it is better to be late than to put yourself in harms way. 6. For instance, if someone who was very physically fit and in shape walked up to you and shook your hand firmly and introduced themselves politely, you might have absolutely no idea that they were a high school dropout who works at MacDonalds and stalks girls on his spare time. 7. How much easier it seems to get along with someone who you can share your interests with and receive feedback that you can respond to and do with passion. 8. Me and Mel have been friends since the end of my 11th grade year. 9. The shirt, as it is now called among my friends and I, doesn't just bring track luck. 10. Obviously, not everyone can be the best, but a good leader should always focus on ways to improve their abilities to think quickly and critically, to know their people and ensure that their people trust them, and to demonstrate all these traits together by being an example of good order and discipline. 11. They all gave him "crap" about it, saying that it's not him but the shirt. 12. The first thing individuals notice when they walk by or meet a military person is how they wear their uniform and what kind of condition it is in. 13. To me, if I call someone a friend, it means that I trust that person and I would feel comfortable sharing anything
with them.14. A person in the military should take pride in the uniform they are wearing and realize they are representing a fighting force that defends our country and our way of life. 15. Stumbling into our camp site after a hard day of hiking and dropping your packs and taking a few deep breaths of clean, crisp air before beginning to set up the tent for the night is one of the most rewarding feelings. 16. They were there for me; they loved me and sacrificed for me just so that I can live better than them.
Sentence faults (fragments, comma splices, and fused sentences) 1. Rig her up with great attention to detail, remembering to test every line setting to make sure I don't run into any problems out on the water.
2. My 1995 Ford Probe is the world to me the Wrigley's Winterfresh gum-green color reminded me of a the tropical ocean, the curves reminded me of an expensive race car, and the smooth ride made me feel like I was riding in the most expensive luxury sedan.
3. Like a pilot does his pre-flight check, I take a walk around her, checking for workings lights, tire pressure, and oil and coolant levels, as I do this, my hands run over her curves and admire her shape.
4. I dipped my finger into the puddle and brought it slowly to my nose, it was anti-freeze, I staggered back at what I had just discovered.
5. I am not saying that I know she will still be mine when I graduate, I am realistic and I know the odds are not in my favor.
6. Vivek would say it is good to get beat up every once in a while, I always would think, "That is pretty dumb, I would much rather just beat the crap out of the other guy and walk away unscathed."
7. The sheer bliss felt by the team as the fans rush onto the field to praise the victors.
8. For generations there has been a huge excess of money in my family my gandfather, his dad, and his gradnfather all grew up on the same small piece of farm land in rural Minnesota.
9. Still, the swing set was there, with its pristine setting and seemingly always open ears, the old pipes have heard the whole bucket of worms from teary eyed youngsters who just got punished by their parents to the cuss words of siblings in deagreement to nearly every problem that kids go through as they trk through puberty and high school.
Wordiness, redundancy, and stilted expression.
1. This concept of practice is a realm of opportunity for decision making at its finest.
2. It can almost be said that without a car a man has not actually become one yet.
3. My car and I have a very interesting relationship and through it all I can say I still love my car and I hope to keep on driving it. But, right now, even though we are separated by many miles, I still love my car and I can't wait to get home and have more memories in it.
4. The feel of the new leather had a texture so foreign yet so familiar to me, as I would rub in the polishing substance used to break in the new leather.
5. The best thing about a pair of soccer shoes is the chance when one pair is past its prime and another new pair is needed.
6. Providing transportation to the supermarket for some of my more elderly neighbors was one of the more common deeds I was able to carry out.
7. When I realized how much I had become like my brother, my feelings were that of joy and disappointment.
8. Before our arrival, our high school was never known to have a talented wrestling program. With me leading the way, I was the first to represent my family once I entered high school. Together with my three younger borthers following after me, we put our community's wrestling program in the spotlight, as people began to identify us as the _______ brothers.
9. As we floated down the river I kept pursuing in my mind, the question of why my glasses were so important to me. They dont' really do anything escept keep the sun out of your eyes, rather well I must say, but besides that they actually sere a minimal purpose. So I persisted in my thought for a long time questioning myself constantly, until it hit me why they were so important.
10. I can name those three occasions when I did not fully prepare and each time I had made a change that reflected in the results of our game due to athletic superstition leading me to think that a failure was as simple as not having my lucky cleats.
Coherence
1. My father and I were not the most technically savvy men in the world, but I coerced him into making my car an ongoing project. The sound of the exhaust is music to my ears not only because of the engine, but the time and effort put into installing it during a downpur. Whenever the car was taken out it was often a victim of abuse. Three weeks after purchasing my car a family friend was over for lunch and asked for a ride.
2. However, this is also my weakness because I usually don't focus on getting to know one particular individual well, or getting good at any one thing. My friends noticed this, because of my almost religious loyalty to my car, seemed completely contradictory for my character. I had been dedicated to the restoration. When I finished I stood back and looked at my masterpiece. It stood their gleaming in the afternoon sun. The loyalty to the car did not form as the result of the finical, time, or personal investment put into the car.
Is Anyone at the Controls?--Wordiness and Redundancy in Sentences
The following sentences exhibit unnecessary wordiness and/or redundancy. Once you gain a critical distance on your sentences, you usually can edit out the unnecessary and sometimes "silly sounding" verbiage. Take a look at the following sentences and see if you can cut away the dead wood. Wordy sentences give the impression that you as writer aren't even paying attention to what you're putting on paper. Why than should your reader be interested? The sentences in orange are examples of possible revisions.
1. But for me, keeping in shape is something that is very significant in my life and is something that I feel I need to do on a routine basis. Keeping in shape is so important to me that I work out every day.
2. Golf is a game that requires minimal upper body strength, yet it requires strong legs to turn your hips and drive through the ball. Though it requires little upper body strength, golf does require strong legs to turn the hips and drive the body through the ball.
3. Mentally, nothing is more rewarding to the mind than knowing you gave everything in the weight room and were able to accomplish a short term goal. Nothing is more rewarding than knowing you were able to accomplish a short term goal by giving everything in the weight room.
4. During that period of time, my life is excellent and I couldn't be feeling any better. During that time I couldn't feel any better.
5. Lifting weights was the remedy to my physical and mental deficiencies; it has brought me success and helped me reach potentials that I never dreamed of. Lifting weights has made me stronger, more confident, and even more successful.
6. Sure, my squad didn't win either of the two events, but there was a feeling of great sensation at the end of each race. When we were finished, it was a feeling I couldn't describe. Sure, my squad didn't win either of the two events, but we did come closer together emotionally.
7. Each and everyone of our lives will depend on the people we work with while on duty. This isn't only for when we are at war, but also during times of peace. Our lives depend on the people with whom we work, whether in peace or war.
8. Hikers are not the stereotypical people that are usually thought of when mentioned. All hikers do not fit the usual stereotype.
9. Although I did not kill anyone, I felt that feeling for a day and I can tell you that it is a feeling that I wish upon no one and that I never want to have again in my life. Although I did not kill anyone, I felt almost as if I had; I certainly don't wish that feeling on anyone!
10. There is no mountain high or low, or any obstacle for that matter, that could make me change my mind about my family. I can't imagine anything that would turn me against my family.
11. We brought more gear than was needed for a month long expedition in Alaska. We packed, making sure we had everything that we needed and everything that we might need in case the world ended. We packed enough gear to survive a nuclear winter.
12. It is in this situation where I found the one thing in my life that truly matters to me. Amid this crisis I found out what really matters to me.
13. Throughout my life, there are many things that I hold strong feelings for. I have always felt strongly about many things.
Two sample papers follow. As you'll see, in the first the thesis and then the topic sentences of its paragraphs appear in blue type, as an example of the kind of framework around which I would like you to flesh out your essay. I also have highlighted in purple its rather sparing--and therefore good--use of the forms of the "to be" verb. Try to emulate its use of mainly active verbs when you work on the final draft of your essay.
Sample #1 Progress, Happiness, and a Chevy The mythic foundations of American life are choice, especially the winning choice, and progress. These ideas formed our country and made heroes of great American inventors such as Edison and Ford. Though this advertisement for the Chevy S-10 Blazer (click here) shoves Henry Ford aside, it still depends on those two American values—and the feelings associated with them—to insinuate that the reader who does not purchase this and other Chevy products will remain utterly dissatisfied. Both the visual details and the wording of the "ad" develop this contrast between a winning choice and a losing one and between prograss and stasis.
Visually, the theme of choice dominates the ad. The Chevy isa fire-engine red—lively and daring. The Ford isa metallic-blue—lifeless and ordinary. The lettering above the Chevy slants to the right, almost moves forward along the page in the direction our eyes automatically move. The lettering above the Ford slants ploddingly, even stiffly "backwards." And because the Ford's back wheels don't even appear in the picture, the ad subliminally implies that with Chevy the buyer gets a whole vehicle, while with Ford he gets only half. In addition, the advertisers make the drivers' expressions just visible enough to emphasize the emotional quality of the choice between Ford and Chevy: smiling and possessing a full-jawed, confident face, the driver of the Chevy looks ahead. The poor fellow in the Fords looks behind him—he has to do this before he can engage the four-wheel drive. But his down-turned brows, his shallow, weakly oval face betray that his choice has left him behind, made him a loser.
This contrast between the two vehicles and their drivers is persuasive. The eye follows the lively, "natural" images associated with the Chevy and shuns the pitiful, "unnatural" images of the other. However, the contrast depends on the reader not recognizing a basic logical problem, the false choice or "either/or fallacy." The market-place offers other four-wheel drive vehicles (Toyota and Nissan, for example), some of which can, in fact, be shifted on the move. So this ad really offers a restricted choice appealing to a simple mind that wants the simple—really emotional rather than thoughtful—answer, but also wants to come out of it all feeling like the winner.
At the same time, this ad appeals to the American desire for progress. Visually the ad displays a tension between "forward" and "backward." Buying a Ford means having to back up ten feet in order to put it into four-wheel drive; buying a Chevy, of course, means going straight ahead. But his basic comparison quickly becomes an ideological one: does the reader believe--as all true-blooded Americans should—in progress or unpatriotic backwardness. Again, the advertisers use the seduction of a false choice: many choices exist between the extremes of progress and backwardness. The advertisement boxes the reader in between two false alternatives so as to create in him an urgent need to avoid the negative one.
The language describing the two vehicles further builds upon this choice between an obvious winner and a loser. The wording that captures the Ford plays on this backwardness, and it does so ingeniously. Look, for instance, at the description of how to shift the Ford: "Stop . . . Shift the transfer case . . . Shift into Reverse . . . Back up at least ten feet . . . Shift into Drive to go ahead." The lack of transitions between these short, stiff commands simulates the rough, jerky, even primitively mechanical process of driving this vehicle. The language also resembles that of the second grade reader—elementary and simple-minded. Naturally, the Chevy requires no such fuss: "But in the Chevy S-10 Blazer 4X4 with standard Insta-Trac, all you do is sift once." The directness and "flow" of this sentence mirrors the ease, the simplicity of driving the Chevy. And its graceful subordination suggests a reading level years above that of the second grade. Clearly the ease of this sentence mirrors the simplicity of driving the Chevy. This ease of operation in turn suggests progress, but so too does the very name of vehicle, "Chevy S-10 Blazer 4X4." With its noisy "z" and its airplane-like "S-10," this name captures a sense of speed. On the other hand, "Ford Bronco II 4X4," with its heavy consonants and its "horsy" associations, simply sounds slow and implies the standards of a by-gone era. Moreover, the Chevy's name implies a great deal more refinement than that of the Ford: the Chevy is an "F-10," having gone through, perhaps, ten whole versions before it reached this level of development; the Bronco is a "II," as in "two" and as in "old-fashioned" Roman numerals, both indicating that this vehicle remains in its early stages of development, is even ancient history, so to speak.
All these carefully orchestrated comparisons lead up to one half of the advertisement's conclusion: "Today's Truck is Chevrolet" (emphasis added). It is current, up-to-date, while the other one is not. But the ad's pitch remains incomplete without the patriotic outburst of emotion: "The Heartbeat of America." "Heartbeat" appears in red script and thereby ties together, at least on an emotional level, the entire advertisement. The red "Heartbeat of America" shares its color with the Blazer; it also leans forward, even upward, full of the vital blood of life and progress. And because, as the explanation section says, the Chevy is more popular than the Ford, it stands as an expression of the American right to choose. No wonder the slogan at the bottom right of the page appears not only in red, but also in white and blue!
Sample #2 Perry Ellis's Eve—All You Need in Threads Sex sells just about anything—we all know that. And so even the wildest connections don 't faze us much anymore. Cars, cigarettes, clothes, even the internet—they're all connected routinely with what Freud identified as the most basic of human drives. But the Vanity Fair "ad" for Perry Ellis (click) ( click ), a men's clothing company, takes this standard connection to the extremes, shunning almost any gesture at rationalizing the connection between the product and desire. And that apparent disconnect is part of its appeal, but so too are its conscious allusion to the Eden myth, its exploitation of the actual conventions of so-called "natural" beauty and sex-appeal, and even its suggestive use of black and white photography.
First I want to deal what I just called the ad's disconnect—its reveling in the apparent ridiculousness of advertising clothing with a nude women and its shunning any display of its product. There are no clothes--if this is what it is advertising rather than, say, perfume!--to be found anywhere. It displays itself almost as an anti-advertisement advertisement. We see nothing about fine craftsmanship, nothing about the latest styles. This ad is literally, in the perhaps unforgettable words of Right Said Fred, "too sexy for the runway." The sophistication of the New York or Parisian fashion show is out of place in the primordial forest represented on this page. Oddly, though, the ad, because of this "unad" approach, appeals to the sophisticated audience, to the crowd that can appreciate subtlety and allusion and that already knows—or ought to know—what Perry Ellis for Men is. This appeal to sophistication, of course, does not exclude the basic power of sexual attraction in the ad.
It's not difficult to discover the allusion to the Eden story. An advanced version of our picture-book Bible stories indeed, this ad displays Eve's transgression. There she is in the tree, reaching for the forbidden fruit (I'm assuming that this is definitely NOT an allusion to the Statue of Liberty, though the posture resembles that of the lady in New York harbor.). The basic premise of this allusion is that Eve's transgression and of course Adam's complicity brought with it our first clothing, the infamous fig leaf. Notice the positioning of the ad's only text right there with the fruit that "Eve" picks. Yes, the ad's allusion implies, Perry Ellis was there with the first clothing. That clothing company, the ad faintly suggests, has over every other company a prior claim to the job of clothing the human body. What's more, the Eden story treats the theme of temptation, a temptation that could not by denied. Again, in spacial terms, Perry Ellis and what that company offers is in the same location as the forbidden but, alas, unavoidable fruit.
This allusive quality of the ad is likely not its most powerful element. However it does make its audience part of a special group that can decode the allusion and thus interpret the ad as a sophisticated document, in spite of its apparent simplicity. Thus the ad's audience is not just the sex-driven male ape in us but the thinking, cultured, sophisticated male. Again, as with the ad's attempt at "anti-ad" status that I earlier discussed, the allusion to Eden works to reach a sophisticated taste. In fact, I would suggest that even the decision to compose the photograph in black and white enhances this sense of sophistication. Think for instance of Ansel Adams photos or uncolorized "old movies"—or modern movies whose directors have chosen to film them in black and white. In each case black and white corresponds to the taste of the "artsy crowd," the people able to recognize lasting value in cultural products. Not only, then, does Perry Ellis have some prior claim on all clothing, beginning with the fig leaf; he is associated with fine taste. And we ought to assume that his clothes will appeal to that taste.
More basic than all this, you might very well argue, is the raw sex-appeal of the female in the ad. There's something elemental in it, something fundamentally natural, you might say. Yes, we're in Eden, but not so much to test our skills at literary allusion as to appeal to our unadorned, basic, original (as in "genesis') impulses. And I would agree. The ad does take the "natural" approach to sex appeal. You've seen the other alternatives: the James Bond female—red lip-stick, hair sprayed and impeccably in place, clothing accentuating cleavage; the prostitution fantasy—just think of Julia Roberts in the early scenes of "Pretty Woman," for instance, and put her in an ad for men's suits; and others I'm sure you can describe. This ad represents "original woman" as youthful to the extreme, somewhat of the nymphet; it represents her as unadorned, as the very image of the original object of sexual desire before we got all complicated with clothing and all the other barriers of civilization. The suggestion, then, is that Perry Ellis can produce this for men who buy his product, "this" accessibility without the complications, gratifications without much delay, and of course beauty.
Notice once again, though, that the ad depends on a contradiction that goes unnoticed to the "panting" male observer. What appears natural is highly conventional: underarm shaven, brows plucked, lips apparently glossed, if not enlarged by plastic surgery, even hair frosted. Do you suspect that Revelon was there in the original garden with Perry Ellis? Perhaps Gillette as well? Even the leaves are strategically placed to hide the woman's breasts. Sure that's so that the ad can in fact be published in a "for-the-general-public magazine." But the placement of the leaves functions in two other important ways related to the ad's theme connecting Perry Ellis clothing with sophisticated taste and a certain kind of sexuality. First, by covering up the forbidden areas of the body, the leaves serve to accent sexuality. The assumption here is that sexuality arises more readily from suggestion than from blatant nudity. In addition to this accenting of male desire, the leaves also, as a form of clothing, set up a series of connections more to the point: leaves = clothing; clothing = Perry Ellis; Perry Ellis on your back=this woman in your sack, to put it crudely.
Though "crudely" is not necessarily "inaccurately": the woman looks curiously, almost desirously at those leaves with which she covers if not caresses her herself. Thus, although the ad plays with its audience's sense of sophistication through its allusion to Eden and its play with the whole genre of sex-appeal ads, it nevertheless comes around to the same claim as all ads make: you buy what we offer; you get what you desire. In the case of this ad, by purchasing Perry Ellis clothing you become the leaves in the foreground of this ad. That's the most basic way in which Perry Ellis is "for men."
![]()
Peer Editing Guidelines for Paper #3 Your job as peer editors is to read critically two of your classmates' papers for the following two "larger issues: 1) controlling idea and 2) development. Below are a few more detailed guidelines for how to evaluate these two aspects of the papers.
1) Controlling Idea. AKA "thesis statement," it ought to combine a WHAT and a HOW. The WHAT amounts to the ad's theme(s), that set of values, generally accepted feelings and ideas, and/or ideologies that the "ad" tries to activate in the viewer/reader. The HOW identifies the techniques the "ad" uses to activate the WHAT. Here follow several illustrations:
a) "Bad" controlling idea because it has only a WHAT part, and that WHAT itself lacks exactness: This "ad" for ______ appeals to male sexual desire.
b) A better controlling idea, but one that still lacks a HOW part:
This "ad" for ______ appeals to sexual desire, yes, but a desire that seems as much a form of elitism and artsy sophistication as a primal urge that we all share.
c) Add to the above sentence another one or two that point toward the ways (the HOW) in which the "ad" makes its appeal, and you have created a full-fledged idea to guide your discussion:
This "ad" for ______ appeals to sexual desire, yes, but a desire that seems as much a form of elitism and artsy sophistication as a primal urge that we all share. Its almost modern art-like composition, its quirky setting, and its repetition of elitist terms, of code words for some special group, all work together to define the purchaser of _______ as special because he belongs.
2) Development. The essential question here is this: "Does the paper explain its idea thoroughly enough so that it both informs and "fights for," or argues for, the validity of its ideas?
Does it, in other words:
a) anticipate possible objections from the audience--instructor and your classmates? b) explain this "ad's" technique and appeal by suggesting what it resembles?
c) explain this "ad's" technique by discussing how it differs from some others of its kind?
e) give multiple examples to illustrate its claims, or if not account for why a single
gesture, technique, piece of clothing, or something else is enough?
Sentence Variety Exercise Three steps:
1. Identify all "regular sentences," those unfolding in the order subject-verb-(object). Do this by drawing an inch-long line beneath the beginnings of the sentences.
Here are some "regular sentences":
s v
--Dickens writes in an ornate style.s v o
--Writing in an ornate style can confuse readers.s v
--Dickens, writing in what we think of as a conservative age, described some
o
pretty strange relationships between men and women.Notice that it doesn't matter how long the sentence is, what form the subject takes (the gerund, for instance, in the second one is a bit unusual), or how many words occur between the subject and verb (the long phrase modifying "Dickens" in the third example).
2. Identify all "irregular sentences," those delaying the subject-verb-(object) pattern. Mark them by putting a squiggly line about an inch long beneath the beginning of each sentence.
Here are some sample "irregular sentences":
s v
--Writing in what we think of as a conservative age, Dickens described some . . .
--In order to get readers to slow down and think about words and their meaning,
s v o
poets often make their language more difficult than simple prose.s v
--Without any fear at all of censors, Thomas openly displays the unconscious
o
fantasies of his characters.Treat all questions as "irregular sentences"
--Do you think Dickens consciously imitates Shakespeare?3. Total the two kinds of sentences and figure the ratio. You're looking for a balance in your prose, something in the area between 60:40 to 40:60.
Assignment #4. Write a two to three page paper on an element from Part 1 or Part 2 below. The focus of this paper will be an element of either The Theatre of War or a short story you have read so far this term. Be sure that you have a clear, controlling idea, which you develop fully. To give you some help in envisioning the kinds of papers that you might produce, I offer the following links:(click) Sample paper a repeated motif in "The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky"
(click) Sample paper on a minor episode/character in a short, short-story by Hemingway
(click) Sample paper on a stylistic feature (sentence structure) in "Miss Brill," a short story
(click) Illustration of a student's successful job of re-writing a mediocre draft on a specific element in "The Bride . . . "
Due date: 13 Nov
Part 1. Explain how one of the passages below contributes to the development of theme and technique(s) in the entire story in which it occurs. "The Cask of Amontillado"
p. 11, opening paragraph
p. 14, middle paragraph, beginning, "At the most remote . . ."
p. 16, last paragraph
"The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky"
p. 29 opening paragraph
p. 31, paragraph beginning, "Of course, people . . ."
p. 34-35, opening paragraph of Chapter III
"The Storm"
p. 38, Last paragraph of section 1
p. 40, the paragraph on middle of page, beginning "They did not heed . . . "
"Araby"
p. 59, paragraph beginning, "Her image . . ."
p. 60, paragraph beginning, "When I came home . . ."
"A&P"
pp. 215-16, next-to-last paragraph of story
p. 216, last paragraph
"The Rocking-Horse Winner"
p. 137, the opening paragraph.
Part 2. Explore how an element of one of the short stories helps to develop its theme. Choose from one of the following options:The imagery of hardness in "The Rocking-Horse Winner"
The repetition of the word "know" in "The Rocking-Horse Winner"The imagery of spatial relations in "Araby"
The imagery of darkness and light in "Araby"Homer Barron in "A Rose for Emily"
Clothing imagery in "The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky"
The wife in "The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky"Setting in "A&P"
The women with kids outside the store in "A&P"The rocking-horse in "The Rocking Horse Winner"
Sample paper on "street-walking in "A Clean Well-Lighted Place"
Here's a sample paper on Assignment #4. Again your aim is to analyze how a part of a story contributes to the whole--contributes to its meaning and to patterns that generate that meaning. Notice in this paper that I have color-coded its three part structure so as to illustrate two things: 1) the way in which the controlling idea dictates its organization (the colors of the parts of the controlling idea match the colors of the corresponding parts in the body of the paper) and 2) the way in which it is organized according to an idea, not according to a need to retell the story. As with the 'ad" papers, the controlling idea combines a WHAT and HOW, and the paper focuses on the ways in which the HOW develops the WHAT. The Meaning of Street Walking in "A Clean Well-Lighted Place" (click)
The passage on the opening page of "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" describing "a girl and a soldier" walking by the cafe calls attention to itself precisely because it seems so out of place. So rare a description as this in Hemingway's bare short story must occur for a reason. And that "reason" has three facets: the description highlights the differences between the old and young waiter, it helps to set off the isolation represented by the old man, and finally it offers a possible alternative of meaningfulness in a story seemingly about the absence of meaning in life.
First of all, the description provides an early opportunity for Hemingway to establish the important difference between the old waiter and the young one. The old waiter expresses concern that the soldier with the girl will get picked up by the guard if he's caught out this late at night (262). The young one, in contrast, simply says: "What does it matter if he gets what he's after?" (262). The one senses consequences, dangers, forces larger than the individual and his needs--in this case the military authority. The other exposes his self concern and disregard for dangers. More importantly his comment assumes that the soldier has a clear want, a clear desire ("if he gets what he's after"). While the older waiter's comment suggests a world view assuming risk and forces that are hostile, with prevention of this risk being its meaningful "action," the other's comments ignore risk and frame action as a seeking and obtaining, not mere avoidance. This sort of difference emerges time and again as the conversation between the two unfolds: the old waiter wants to know about why the old man attempted suicide (262, 263), who found him and cut him down and why (263), and even why the young waiter doesn't wonder if he might discover another man in bed with his wife when he arrives at home before his usual time (264). The young man does not care about why's and how's: he merely wants the old man out of the bar so that he can "accomplish his mission," as it were. He senses no risks, only irritations, only delays between desire and satisfaction. This difference between the two waiters, a difference set up in part by their reactions to the soldier and lady friend, helps to establish the story's representation of a lack of meaning: on the one hand, the old waiter sees life as merely a process of risk aversion, without any more meaning than neatness and friendly light; on the other hand, the young man does not care about any question of meaning. One, in other words, seems to have sought meaning without finding it; the other simply disregards any search for meaning as important.
In addition, the description of the soldier and girl walking through the street highlights the old man's solitude. As it works in this way, the passage actually emphasizes the two bartenders' companionship rather than their contrasting outlooks. In the same short paragraph that describes the soldier and girl, Hemingway describes the bartenders in this way: "They sat together at a table that was close against the wall near the door of the cafe and looked at the terrace where the tables were all empty except where the old man sat in the shadow of the leaves of the tree that moved slightly in the wind" (262). However different their world views, the one's pessimistic and fretful, the other's optimistic and confident, they at least have each other's company, while the old man sits outside alone. The description of the soldier and girl, immediately following this passage, reinforces the old man's loneliness: they too are a pair, like the bartenders; the old man is merely a loner. If seen only in terms of this purpose, the detail about the soldier and woman walking by the cafe would almost be overkill: detailing that the bartenders "sat together" and that the "tables were all empty except . . ." is enough.
However, the passage has another, though perhaps less apparent purpose: in simple terms it suggests that love is built into the story as a possible alternative to its prevailing theme of meaninglessness. This possibility emerges as a result of simply looking for a context for this passage, a link to other details in the story. Such linkage might, after all, be purposeful rather than random. One linkage depends on women, women implied at least by the narrative and dialogue. In addition to the girl with the soldier, four women emerge faintly from the story's texture: the young waiter's wife waiting for him at home in bed (263); the wife the old man once had (263); the old man's niece who interrupted his attempted suicide (263); and finally the Virgin Mary (264), alluded to through the "Hail nothing full of nothing . . . (265). Apart from the niece, a mere caretaker, these other three women represent meaningful companions. The old waiter's emptiness, in fact, seems at least coincidental with his lack of a wife or female companion. However "bone headed," the young waiter does have a purpose in his life because of his wife, because of their implied mutual dependence. And when the young waiter carelessly says of the 80 year old man, " A wife would be no good to him now" (263), the old waiter in fact reinforces the importance of a heterosexual companion by replying, "You can't tell. He might be better with a wife" (263). A wife, this comment implies, can offer more relief from darkness, can mean more, than just "a clean well-lighted place." The passage describing the girl and soldier, she hurrying beside him, has to be understood in light of these other references to the value of loving companionship.
Clearly the story does not romanticize heterosexual love, does not make it an obvious alternative to life without meaning. In fact, as I have pointed out, the young waiter himself lacks the sensitivity to see such meaning in love, as is illustrated by his view of the soldier as sexual predator. Even the image of the virgin mother Mary, western civilization's perfect mother-wife, takes a cynical form in the old waiter's musings: "Mother Mary full of Grace" has become "nothing full of nothing (265); and that cynical view is reinforced when the next image to emerge after the old waiter's musing is the purely mechanical "shining steam pressure coffee machine" (265) in the bodega. This mechanistic view of the world has replaced that of spirit finding incarnational meaning within woman. Still, with all these suggestions of negativity, the image of the girl and soldier represents a feint alternative to the prevalent meaninglessness put forth by the older waiter, but not so clearly by the story itself. After all, that waiter is just a character created by Hemingway, one subject to our critical view. And one qualification to his prevalent pessimism is the image of the knightly soldier with his "lady," a traditional symbol of fulfillment in western culture that is not entirely annihilated by the notion that life is nada.
Sample Paper on a stylistic feature of "Miss Brill"
"Miss Brill" (click) as Sentence I like to see Miss Brill as a sentence, particularly a compound or complex one, a sentence, at any rate, that has either a clause or phrase strongly qualifying its main idea. Taking this personification further, I think she's a compound and/or complex sentence seeking to become a direct one. As it turns out this claim is less an analogy than it first seems because Mansfield's style in executing this "third person limited" narration documents this search almost in terms of sentence structure, or at least in terms of the way in which Miss Brill's thoughts are patterned. In simple terms Miss Brill begins the story as a compound or complex sentence; starts to become a direct one; and transforms, unfortunately, back into a compound or complex one at the end of the story. These shifts in syntax document her effort to make herself a meaningful element in a world with which she is so out of step.
The connection between pattern of thought and character, between Miss Brill and a sentence, emerges in the very first sentence of the story: "Although it was so brilliantly fine . . . Miss Brill was glad that she had decided on her fur" (17, emphasis added). And the pattern continues throughout the first paragraph, six of whose 14 sentences take on this compound or complex pattern. The second sentence depends on a "but" to demonstrate a similar rationalization about the absurdity of wearing the fur on a warm, pleasant day: ". . . but when you opened your mouth there was a faint chill . . ." (17, emphasis added). In the paragraph's seventh sentence the qualification, which again hinges on "but," involves Miss Brill's excitement about seeing the fur's little eyes "snap at her again": ". . . But the nose, which was of some black composition, wasn't at all firm" (17). And that qualification leads to another in the following sentence: "Never mind--a little dab of sealing wax when the time came . . ." (17). The last two sentences of this sort in the opening paragraph demonstrate, as the editor points out in the margin, Miss Brill's suppression of "negative impressions" (17). The first one of these describing a tingling sensation in her hand pivots on a "but": "but that came from walking . . . " (17). In the next and final sentence, when she feels "something light and sad," the very next words qualify that feeling: "no, not sad, exactly" (17).
I linger over this pattern in the opening paragraph for two reasons: first, its frequency signals its importance; and second it lays out the basic tendency in Miss Brill's character, which amounts to a tension between her ability to glimpse her own timidity, eccentricity, and even despair on the one hand and her desire for confidence, relevancy, and even happiness on the other hand. That first paragraph displays the internal tension that she has to work through just to get out the door on Sundays.
Interestingly enough, once she begins to make some separation from her lodging, her "cupboard" or "box," the frequency of these qualifying, almost contradicting sentences or thought patterns subsides. In all the rest of the story up to the final paragraph, they appear just 12 times, and six of those occur in other people's conversations or in descriptions of others' actions. In the conversation between the English couple, for instance, the wife knows she needs glasses, "but" it was no good getting them "because they would break" (18, emphasis added). Twice more the pattern occurs between the boy and girl who end up hurting Miss Brill: the boy's desire for a kiss or some more ardent display of affection is the issue--his "But why" and her "not yet" shows this pattern of qualification and/or contradiction. Generally though, the long middle of the story is dominated by direct rather than compound and/or complex sentences.
The reason for this change from the opening paragraph is that Miss Brill's optimism and positive spirit prevails during this section. For example, when Miss Brill hears the little "flutey" bit from the band, she "was sure it would be repeated. It was; she lifted her head and smiled" (18). Instead of a qualification and/or contradiction, we see reinforcement of her initial feeling. This tendency is interrupted only occasionally as with the "but" in the paragraph in which Miss Brill looks at the old people who seem to have come from "cupboards" (19). Perhaps this interruption, along with the revealing description of the kind of confining enclosure from which Miss Brill also comes, amounts to Mansfield's way of marking a spot where Miss Brill's buoyancy depends on her failure to see herself reflected in these old people. The description of the British woman's contrariness about getting glasses occurs for the same reason: it reflects Miss Brill herself, though Miss Brill does not register that reflection. At any rate, the general grammatical energy in this middle section is that of "and" rather than "but," a compiling of simple, direct grammatical units and observations rather than a series of observations stunted by hesitation. This dominating stylistic tendency reflects Miss Brill's growing confidence, particularly as she engages in the long reverie about her essential role in the community at the park, which in her view represents a grand theatrical performance held every Sunday. As a part of the play she is an actress, she imagines, on whom all the others depend (20). No qualifications stunt this compilation of direct sentences.
The climax of this view--and the end of the dominance of direct sentences and the return to qualifying and contradicting structures--occurs just as the "hero and heroine" show up (21). Actually the rude couple who insult Miss Brill and send her back into her own cupboard, this hero and heroine, as I have already mentioned, converse in terms of a contradictory structure: he wants "it," and she says no. Importantly, their conversation has the grammatical shape of the compound and/or complex sentence, and it has that shape precisely because of Miss Brill. Her very existence, rather than representing an integral role in some grand, community drama, creates distance between young lovers, delays fulfillment, gets in the way of life: "'But why? Because of that stupid old thing at the end there?' asked the boy. 'Why does she come here at all--who wants her? Why doesn't she keep her silly old mug at home?'" Miss Brill, both literally and figuratively, gets in the way of the direct sentence, in this case expressions of love, and of all the vitality, confidence, and youthfulness it represents.
Appropriately if sadly, then, the story ends with two paragraphs whose expression returns to the qualification and contradiction of the first paragraph, but with a vengeance! Usually, we learn, Miss Brill gets her almond cake on the way home from the park, "But" (21) on this day she passes by the bakery and returns directly to her "little dark room--her room like a cupboard" (21-22). The most important "but" in the entire story, however, occurs in the final sentence, after the description of how she "quickly, without looking" (22) returns the fur to the box from which she had taken it at the beginning of the story: "But when she put the lid on she thought she heard something crying" (22, emphasis added). The dynamic here repeats that of the first paragraph, only the stakes are higher. In a sort of denial of all the hurt the fur now represents, she shuts it way. However, even when she shuts it up in the box, she can't suppress the "but" within her character, the inability to shut out the despair, the vulnerability, and the sense that she's marginal to all that goes on in the world, the world of direct sentences and clear desires. The crying is the ultimate qualifying phrase in the (death) sentence of her life.
Losing the Comfort Zone in Yellow Sky One of the larger motifs in Crane’s “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky” is the disorientation that comes with dislocation or change of circumstances. In basic terms the motif consists of a confident character—or even a dog in one case—feeling weak and ineffectual because he finds himself “out of his water,” so to speak. Implicitly the pattern underscores the story’s larger thematic concern with a cultural shift in the old West.
The story’s climax, in fact, portrays this disorientation most emphatically when Jack tells Scratchy Wilson that he, Jack, “aint got a gun because [he’s] just come from San Anton’ with [his] wife.” Scratchy, the confident, gun-totting tyrant of Yellow Sky is shocked. The narrator says that he suddenly acts “like a creature allowed a glimpse of another world”; and in explaining why Scratchy unexpectedly gives up his advantage over his long-time nemesis and walks away, the narrator writes, “in the presence of this foreign condition [Scratchy] was a simple child of the earlier plains.” The terms “another world” and “foreign condition” emphasize the culture shock, almost, that Scratchy faces. And the description of Scratchy’s morose acquiescence to Potter’s news as resembling that of “a simple child of the earlier plains” also emphasizes this powerfully disorienting effect of the introduction of what amounts to another culture.
Surprising as it is, this ending nevertheless grows out of a series of such events. In fact each of the story’s four labeled sections displays a case of such disorientation as if to prepare us for this last, most emphatic example of it. That’s essentially what the peculiar description of Potter, his wife, and the porter and waiters is all about in the first section. The man we discover later to be a confidant sheriff seems out of place, confused even, in the lavish Pullman, not to mention in “his new black clothes.” His wife acts just as uncomfortable in her blue cashmere dress. The narrator’s description of the Negro porters and the waiters’ amusement at the uncomfortable couple only accentuates this sense of dislocation. The train, ultimately, is “the environment of their new estate,” a description that emphasizes the connection between the new situation and the discomfort they feel. The prospective discomfort of the town over Potter’s marriage also becomes a focus of this first section, as the narrator describes Potter's growing uneasiness over not having, it seems, asked the town for its blessing. He imagines his return ill cause the same sort of feeling among the townsfolk as he and his wife have in the Pullman car.
In the next two sections the drummer and the dog develop this motif. At home in the saloon where he can chatter and tell stories, the drummer becomes progressively less and less confident as the others outline the possible risks of Scratchy’s rampage through the town. The drummer transforms from the glib, secure story-teller to the tentative, fretful outsider, all because of a sudden change in situation. Though it appears in some ways almost unnecessary, this scene in the saloon clearly emphasizes the way in which dislocation and an attendant loss of confidence and comfort can occur. Almost comic relief, the scene with the dog in the next section, in fact, repeats this motif. The dog, comfortably “dozing in front of his master’s door,” must relocate without delay when Scratchy first yells and then shoots at him.
As the title of the story strongly implies, relocation and insertion of something new into a comfortable setting is an important theme. The story, to put it simply, deals with changes, changes of various sorts, ranging from a dog repositioning itself, a sheriff entering into a new “estate,” as the narrator puts it, to an old time western cowboy/gang member, Scratchy Wilson, finally losing his own sense of security and comfort. He becomes the outsider with the introduction of a new domesticity into Yellow Sky. And symbolically his represents the loss of that world to the one that comes from the east, in a fancy Pullman car.
Sucessful re-write of a short story paper
Here's an example of a successful re-write. The first paper, a low "C," gets transformed into a paper with thesis that controls the paper's organization. It's a "B" paper. Notice that the re-write amounts to a rather massive reshaping and rethinking, not just a superficial alteration of some stylistic elements. The paragraphing has improved; the recurring reminder of the main idea becomes less mechanical; and the use of of quotations unfolds more efficiently and gracefully. Setting and Clothes Matter Stephen Crane’s “A Bride Comes to Yellow Sky” declares the end of the “romantic” West due to the shift of modernized eastern ideals. The West no longer represents the wild frontier where only brave souls dared go seeking adventure. No longer did it represent gun-shootouts, Indian battles, and saloons full of drunken men and women. The narrator manifests this change by the tide of west flowing east by the movement of the train, the scene outside of the train, and by the clothing of the characters. The train and clothing foreshadow the eastern ideals and institutions that modernize the west.
The opening paragraph starts foretelling the theme of western modernization by the train, the illusion looking through the window of the train, and the meaning of that illusion. The opening sentence reads,
“The great Pullman was whirling onward with such dignity of motion that a
glance from the window seemed simply to prove that the plains of Texas
were pouring eastward.” (29)The train immediately suggests the idea of western modernization. Before the train, people traveled west by wagon or horseback. The creation of the train revolutionized the west by making it accessible for eastern Americans. With eastern Americans came eastern people, clothes, and ideas; thus altering the culture of the west.
The end of the first sentence mentions that, “the plains of Texas were pouring eastward.” (29) This line describes the illusion when one is moving and looks out at the surroundings. For a split second, one thinks that the outside surroundings are in motion. This illusion of a shrinking gap between the east and west foreshadow the theme of eastern influence and the modernization of the west.
Notice that the narrator now zooms in closer into the scene describing, “…mesquite and cactus, little groups of frame houses…” (29) This shift from a panoramic view of the scene outside of the train to the minor details of the scene calls that the reader to pay attention to the details in the story. The foreshadowing of the details is what leads to the theme of the shift of western life.
The narrator remarks on the details of the scene with, “…all were sweeping into the east, sweeping over a horizon, a precipice.” (29) The distinct symbols of western life-beautiful green grass flats, cactus, and wooden framed houses- come essentially to a dead-end at the end of the sentence with the usage of “a precipice” or cliff. The significance of this imagery suggests the end of the west.
By shifting the reader’s attention from a panoramic view to a more zoomed-in view, the narrator focuses on the clothes of the couple in the train. The passage tells of the man,
“… he constantly looked down respectfully at his attire…The glances
he devoted to other passengers were furtive and shy.” (29) Furthermore,
the narrator remarks on the clothing by of the woman by, “She wore a
dress of blue cashmere, with small reservations of velvet…with steel buttons…
her puff sleeves, very stiff, straight, and high.” (29)Granted they just got married-and when people marry, they wear nice clothes- the narrator implies the clothes obviously did not represent who they were. Jack Potter acknowledges the awkwardness of wearing a suit. A town marshal never wears a suit. Nevertheless, he looks down and respects (emphasis added) his new attire because he realizes this is the new Jack Potter. The sophisticated clothes anticipate the shift of eastern culture and styles to the west.
At the opening paragraph of the third chapter, the narrator remarks on the clothing of Scratchy Wilson,
“…a maroon-colored flannel shirt, which had been purchased for
purposes of decoration and made…by some Jewish women on the
east side of New York…his boots had red tops with gilded imprints,
of the kind beloved in winter by little sledding boys …of New England.” (34-35)Again the narrator mentions the east when describing the clothes of the story’s antagonist, Scratchy Wilson. The paradox is that Scratchy Wilson represents the ideal western man. He gets drunk in the bar and then roams the town streets in search of a gun-fight. Although the actions of Scratchy Wilson embody the western man, the details of his attire reflect eastern culture. Notice how the narrator mentions that the shirt’s designer is a Jewish woman from New York. The narrator mentions a Jewish Designer because the reader infers that there are no Jewish women currently in the west. However, the clothing represents a foreshadowing of Jewish people living in the west. Not just Jewish people, but other eastern icons as well. This imagery relate back to the opening paragraph where the narrator’s illusion of the closing gap between the east and west by focusing on the details.
In the opening paragraph, the narrator starts off telling the story from a panoramic view. His shift from a train heading west to the specific cactus that passes by outside shifts the narrator’s interest to the minor details. The story continues its “zoomed in” perspective by constantly discussing other details such as the clothing of characters. In the end of the story, the narrator “zooms out” from the tangible to the intangible. When Scratchy Wilson and Jack Potter encounter each other, they remark,
“’I’m married,’ said Potter…’Married? said Scratchy…’No’…He (Scratchy)
was like a creature allowed a glimpse of another world.” (37)Jack Potter, the town marshal, violated the “code” of the west. A town marshal never gets married because he puts himself in harm’s way when he fights the tough guys like Scratchy Wilson. Furthermore, the tough guys don’t feel guilty killing a town marshal because it is all for sport and tradition. However, a wife in the mix and the idea of marriage complicates everything. If Jack returned with his eastern black clothes and without a wife, the gun-fight still takes place. Because Jack marries, the gun-fight does not happen with Scratchy. No more will the western event of a town marshal fighting the town tough guy occur. Thus, no more will the west be the same due to the eastern institutions such as marriage that modernize the west.
The narrator’s shifts of focus throughout the story skillfully hint at a change to the west. The symbolism of the train, the scene outside of the train, and the clothing of the characters leading to the eastern idea of marriage help depict the modernization of the west. It is that the ideas and institutions of the west, foreshadowed by the clothing, that modernize the west.
Foreshadowing the Modernization of the West Stephen Crane’s "A Bride Comes to Yellow Sky" portrays the end of the “romantic” west as a result of modernized eastern ideals. In the world of the story, the west no longer represents the wild frontier where only brave souls dared go seeking adventure. No longer did it represent gun-shootouts, Indian battles, and saloons full of drunken men and women. The west changes and the narrator implies this change through the opening paragraph and clothing of characters. Ultimately, the clothing and opening paragraph foreshadow the inevitable: the eastern ideals and institutions modernizing the west.
The train in the opening paragraph immediately suggests the idea of western modernization. Before the train, people traveled west by wagon or horseback. Mass transportation was unheard of and thus limited the number of people in the west; and insured that those in the west really wanted to be there. The creation of the train revolutionized the west by making it accessible for eastern Americans. The western, life-daring adventure, transformed into a tamer “getaway” for many Americans. With the “Pullman” (29) came eastern people, clothes, and ideals. The culture of the east soon mixed with the west.
The motion of the train in the opening paragraph visually suggests an end to western icons through the mixing of the west and east. The narrator describes the motion of the train stating, “a glance from the window seemed simply to prove that the plains of Texas were pouring eastward” (29). The narrator creates this visual image of the west literally moving east. Notice how the narrator refers to “the plains of Texas”: the gun shoot-outs, horses, and long strolls into the sunset do not go east, just the plains themselves. Furthermore, the visual illusion of the gap closing from the east and west implies that the change is continuous. Thus, changes have already occurred and will continue to do so as the train “whirl[s] onward” (29) to the west. The narrator continues describing the setting, remarking on the “dull-hued spaces of mesquite and cactus…frame houses, woods of light” (29). In addition to the shifting of the western icons to the east, the narrator states that, “all were sweeping into the east, sweeping over the horizon, a precipice,” a cliff or ledge. The first paragraph suggests, or anticipates, the end of western icons while simultaneously implying the shift of eastern inventions westward. This shift, moreover, amounts to the destruction of the west and its values, as it is pictured falling to its death, in a sense, over the eastern horizen.
The narrator also foreshadows the modernization of the west by intentionally describing closely the clothing of a western man, Scratchy Wilson. At the opening paragraph of the third chapter, the narrator notes that he wears “a maroon-colored flannel shirt, which had been purchased for purposes of decoration by some Jewish women on the east side of New York” (34). The irony of the ideal western man--one who drinks often in town and is notorious for gun-fights--wearing clothes made by a Jewish woman from New York hints at the presence of the east in the west. This imagery of an eastern artifact embodying a western man correlates back to the opening paragraph suggesting that eastern culture is influencing the west. Also, notice that the narrator refers to the “flannel shirt” as mere “decoration,” suggesting Scratchy Wilson just wants to appear as a “tough western cowboy”. Essentially, the narrator implies that by “looking like a western” figure one becomes one. Thus, the narrator reveals the shallowness of the surviving western culture: it derives its culture from appearance rather than from ideals. Furthermore, the narrator goes on to describe Scratchy’s boots as having "red tops with gilded imprints/ the kind beloved in winter by little sledding boys [in] New England” (34-35). The narrator’s connection with a western man to an eastern child suggests the fragile nature of the west. Although the actions of Scratchy Wilson embody the western man, his eastern-made clothes suggest a fragile childishness and superficilaity that suggest something wquite different from the gritty, manly ideal. The clothes of the Scratchy Wilson foreshadow eastern influence on the west.
The opening paragraph and clothing of Scratchy Wilson clearly foreshadow the modernization of the west by eastern ideals. Ultimately-=as is revealed in the end of the story-- the eastern institution of marriage directly changes the west. Scratchy Wilson, the ideal western man, “walks off into the sunset” with his “funnel-shaped tracks in the heavy sand.” (37) The clothes and view outside of a train going west alone do nothing to change western culture. What those images do, however, is to foreshadow what eventually changes the west: marriage, increased population, and other eastern mainstays such as clothing factories and advertising agencies that make and sell an image not a life.
Difference between a Moral and a Theme Moral (or telling a story) Theme
"The Lottery" It does no good to complain when it's too late. The tyranny of habit and convention over human (humane) behavior. "The Lottery" You shouldn't resort to violence to solve human problems. The violence underlining even the most civilized, routine actions. "The Lottery" It's far easier than you would first think to resort to violence. The lust for violence and brutality in human nature. "The Story of
an Hour"Sometime the dictates of society keep you from knowing what you really want until it's too late. The conflict between social conventions and natural incliminations. "The Story of
an Hour"If you're weak you need to avoid taking risks because you might suffer in the end. The emotional risks of freedom. "The Story of
an Hour"You need to be honest with your spouse if love is to flourish in marriage. The gap between marital stability and individual fulfillment. "Barn Burning" It's better to do the right thing than to stick with family out of mindless loyality. The tragic conflict between blood ties and justice. "Barn Burning" In order to mature you have to sort out your loyalties and finally make a choice. Maturity as a process of loss and alienation, ultimately. "A&P" If you're going to make a decision you better know why you're doing it and what the consequences are. Heroism as a "cover" for self-indulgence.
Comma Exercise
1. The idea here is not for you to think about someone who is for example, in bed reading a book after hours.
2. Whom the fragrance is meant for would most likely be posted on the box containing the product however; the color of the product bottles gives you a hint as to which you would want to buy.
3. Nevetheless, "Find Your Voice", suggests a slew of connotative meanings.j
4. The cropped haircut and extremely short fingernails, worn by the model in the ad, exemplifies independence and individuality.
5. Millions of years pass, and single celled bacteria, have evolved into man and woman.
6. The male in this picture, is at best, average, with a slightly dull look in his eyes.
7. The environment in this ad accents the characters, and the power of the mints.
8. Having this as the backdrop, further suggests that the two characters are from prehistoric times.
9. This further reinforces the idea of the rugged, uncivilized routine of a caveman which consists of hunting, sleeping and procreating.
10. No man wants to be ignored, therefore you must use this cologne or else she will not come to you.
11. The phrase "Pure Sport Line," implies that there are more colognes of this type made by Old Spice.
12. In the last few years, a sense of patriotism exudes from our country and other countries notice it.
"A Rose for Emily"--Chronology
? E's father has falling out with family in Alabama over Old Lady Wyatt's estate (164)1883? Emily, "a slender figure in white . . . her father a spraddled silhouette . . . with a whip. . ." (163)
(30 yrs old)1885 Father dies (163)
1886 Summer after father's death, Homer and sidewalk construction crew shows up (163)
Emily and Homer become "an item" (164)
Towns folk say, "Poor Emily" (164)1888 Two yrs. after father's death, still thin, Emily ("over 30"--p. 164)) buys arsenic, over a year after
they start to say, "Poor Emily" (164);
two cousins visit her (164)
Homer Barron "deserts" Emily (162)
The big stink (162)1889 Emily is seen after six month period, now fat and hair becoming gray (165)
1891? China painting lessons begin (166)
1894 Remittance of taxes by Col Sartoris (160); Emily is about 40 yrs old.
1898 China painting lessons cease; Col Sartoris dies (162)
1918? New generation of town leadership vists Emily to request she pay taxes (161)
about 1928 Dies at age of 74 (166)
Notes:
-40 yrs from time Emily is seen in upstairs room to time she dies (167). So, she's about 34 when she kills Homer.
-During the time she gives China painting lessons, her taxes are remitted (166); during the time of the lessons,
she's about 40, says the narrator (166).-She vanquishes the new generation who seek her tax payment "just as she had vanquished their fathers thirty
years before about the smell" (162); which means that vanquishing occurs about 1918, and the stink episode occurs in the late 1880's (1888?).
Sweatheart Saying
Justin North
I am a sad person, miserable in my loneliness. I was in love once; actually, love is the wrong way to put it. At one point in my life, I became so utterly, completely infatuated with a woman that I thought only about her. Just the thought of being without her almost reduced me to tears. I am now such a cheerless and bitter person because I did not realize that proverbs are not meant to be taken literally and that basing actions on them without thought is dangerous. Common sayings do not arrive at our door steps with disclaimers like, “warning, believing in this could ruin your life!” If they did come with these warnings, maybe my life would not be in such a shambles.
One day, during that blissfully happy period of my life, I sat at home reading when the phone rang. I realized with the utmost pleasure that it was my sweetheart on the line. After exchanging pleasantries and saying the sweet nothings that lovers say to one another, I found out the reason for her call. She wanted me to come over to her apartment so that she could cook me dinner. I was thrilled and I told her I would be right over: after all, I had thought she would be busy at home all night working on yet another paper for her tyrannical English professor, and would be unable to see me.
On the way to her apartment, I stopped at the grocery store and picked up a bottle of her favorite Merlot and a dozen red roses. When I finally arrived on her doorstep and she opened the door, her beauty literally took my breath away, but I still somehow found the strength to make it inside and give her the wine and roses. She said they were beautiful. In my eyes, however, there was only one beautiful thing in the room. She was wearing my old shirt, the one she still claimed smelled like me. She was also wearing the shorts she always wore when we weren’t going to leave the house, the ones that made her beautiful legs look a mile long.
Later, as I lay with my head in the lap of the woman of my dreams, a delicious dinner and most of a bottle of wine sitting in my stomach, I thought to myself, “What a life, nothing can bring me down!” However, I soon found out the same thing that countless people who have gone before me invariably find out when they think they are invincible. They are WRONG! As I lay there, my girlfriend said to me, “honey, I just bought a new dress, but I’m not sure if it makes my butt look big. Would you mind taking a look at me in it and giving me your opinion?” Without waiting for my response she bounced up, ran into her bedroom and returned a few minutes later in a very nice dress. She slowly spun in front of me, and I noticed that the large dress enhanced the appearance of her backside. She then asked me what I thought. I thought to myself, “Well, honesty IS the best policy”, and I said, “Sweetie, it is a very nice dress, but it does make your behind look a tiny bit bigger than normal.” BIG MISTAKE! She then very politely told me that she did not care what I thought, that she thought it was pretty, and that I should just keep my opinions to myself.
With that she started to walk away, obviously upset. As I stood up to try to tell her that I still thought she looked gorgeous in the dress, I stepped right on top of the cork-screw we had used to open the wine. As soon the pain sent its knife up through my leg, I started screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs and reached down to pull a half inch of the cork screw out of my foot. I pulled once, and it didn’t give. It just hurt worse. Then I bent back down and gave it a really good pull, but not only did the cork-screw come out of my foot, it also took a meatball out of my heel with it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the worst part. As my arm jerked, I hit the bottle of wine with the back of my hand sending it flying across the room and into her face, instantly knocking her unconscious. Having heard my screams of agony, the neighbors decided they had better alert the security guard, just to make sure she was safe. As I bent down to check on my girlfriend, I heard a knock on the door and somebody yelled, “Security, open the door.” In an attempt to stop the wine from spilling all over the floor, I picked up the bottle and limped on over to the door and opened it. Now picture what these men saw: blood all over the floor, an unconscious woman on the ground with a heavily bruised face, and an ashen faced young man, standing there with an empty wine bottle in his hand, reeking of alcohol. It does not take a criminal expert to guess what happened next.
During my first night in jail, I learned to my pleasant surprise that my girlfriend had woken up shortly after I left, but I could not figure out why, then, the police did not release me and apologize for the inconvenience their misunderstanding had caused me. It was then that I got the really bad news. She did not remember the incident at all, and her father was pressing for my trial and conviction. I spent the next week in jail talking with a lawyer and preparing for my trial. On that first day in court, when the judge heard both of our stories and determined that there was not enough evidence to prosecute, he let me go. Once outside the courtroom I went over to my girlfriend in hopes of explaining what had really happened, but I was met with nothing but screams of, “get away from me you creep!” After this embarrassing episode in the street I called a cab and went home, where I saw the picture of my EX-girlfriend sitting by the telephone. All I could do was sit down on my couch and cry, for I realized that my adherence to the old adage about honesty being the best policy had literally ruined my life.
Honesty is the best policy--I would not say that statement is a lie. As a matter of fact, in most cases, being honest is the best option. The only reason I offer you my extremely embarrassing story is to caution you. This saying can lead anyone naïve enough to believe it into thinking that it is human nature to want the truth. This is simply not true. Every day people ask questions to which they just want a simple answer instead of your version of the truth. Take my story with my ex-girlfriend as an example, or perhaps a semi-auto-biographical example of the time a police officer pulled me over and said, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” The true answer to this question was, “well, sir, I know you have a quota of tickets you have to write each month, and I guess I am just a victim of circumstance.” Or it might have been:, “Because you were finished with your donut and got bored parked there on the side of the road, sir.” Both of those responses might have been one hundred percent truthful, but neither of them is what the policeman expected. In these cases, honesty is definitely not the best policy. Despite the fact that truth is very important, it is equally important to use common sense in dealing with people in your daily life. Perhaps, in a few generations, after many more people have experienced situations like the one I dealt with, a new phrase concerning honesty will rise to prominence in American society. Maybe my grandchildren, assuming I ever find love again, will avoid the same mistakes I have made by growing up knowing that A DEGREE OF HONESTY, MIXED WITH A LITTLE COMMON SENSE, IS THE BEST POLICY!
Always for the Best
Mia Blundetto"Everything happens for a reason." Not just the good things. Not just the exciting things. And not just the things that bring us good fortune and health. It's everything: the death of a child's first goldfish, the meeting where your boss tells you that you are fired or the calamity of a hurricane destroying thousands of homes and lives. As much as any of us would rather disagree, even the attacks of September 11th took place for a reason. Of course, we might not ever know the exact reason as to why such horrible things happen to good people, but having trust in this short, five word saying will more often than not bring reassurance during times of difficulty. The only requirement necessary to use this saying is that a person is confident in its meaning 100% of the time.
The biggest mistake in living by any quote or saying is believing it only during times of accomplishment and triumph, and not through the hardships that come on the way toward success. We must believe in what we say all the time or in the end all we are really doing is just fooling ourselves. Sometimes it might be hard to fall back on such a strongly worded saying, but as with any religion, if you are unable to find the answer, have faith in the deeper meaning that it entails. I personally do not consider myself to be religious: I'm still trying to figure out what exactly I believe in. I rely on the saying "everything happens for a reason" so often and so strongly because it always seems to provide me with an answer. Over the past five or so years that I have been using this aying, I have met people who agreed with me, a few who somewhat agree with me, and others who completely disagree. So I am here, not necessarily to persuade others to believe what I believe, but to explain why I am such a strong advocate of this saying.
If everything happens for a reason, why do innocent children die, you might ask? How is it that Hitler, for instance, could kill nine million innocent people? And what about September 11th, 2001? What are the reasons for events like these? Of course there is no way that I will ever know the exact reason or explanation for such horrible events, but I can give possibilities as to why tragedies such as these take place. My reasoning rests on the possibility that if terrible events did not take place somthing far more atrocious could have. In the case of the Holocaust, I would say that I do not think it was at all good. Still when questioning why something this horrible took place, I find it necessary to read deeply between the lines for possible justifications. These answers may or may not be true, but just as with any religion, if you have faith then the unknown truth is irrelevant. Just a few potential answers: someone ten times as horrible as Hitler could have been among those killed in the Holocaust and would have committed far more slayings, or maybe the Holocaust was a slap in the face to millions of people around the world who would otherwise be blind to international issues. To me, coming up with different possibilities of why something tragic happened is not always worth the time, but doing so does help me justify my belief in "everything happens for a reason." Questioning the unknown keeps people from having an optimistic outlook in life. I want to remain optimistic so I avoid dwelling on both past and current events.
One thing I have noticed over the past few years is how easily I get through major events in my life. I feel that I am able to do this because I rarely question why events occur. For example, about one year ago my parents sat my two brothers, sister and me down at the dinner table and told us they were going to separate. I sat there in disbelief of what I had just heard. Anyone who knew my family would choose my parents as the last couple on earth ever to divorce, let alone talk about separating. Unable to let myself cry over this, I have been able to stay strong throughout the entire ordeal. I consider myself extremely lucky to have had the chance to grow up in such a wonderful family, and I would only feel selfish if I ever felt sorry for myself. Many people go through far worse ordeals than the separation of parents, and therefore I have no reason to complain. I handled my parent's separation so well that my parents would constantly ask me why I wasn't sad and why I acted as though everything was OK. In fact, it was my Mom who introduced me to the saying, "everything happens for a reason." Every time I told her, "Mom, what is going on is out of my control and it all is happening for a reason," she seemed surprised, almost as though she was having a hard time beleiving in the single most important lesson she ever taught me. By staying strong throughout their separation, I hope that I taught her the same lesson she taught me, and that she can find an answer as to why this happened to her. Very few people are given a life in which no work is necessary to grow and develop. I wish people would take the challenges facing them and look at them more as an opportunity to become stronger than something trying to make them miserable.
Even the smallest dilemmas can put people in uptight moods. When my older brother misplaces the keys to his truck, for instance, you would think that someone died because of how catastrophic he makes the situation appear. Of course, if he were running late, I could understand the frustration, but I would still look at it in a way that made losing his keys a good thing. Maybe if my brother had left at his initial time he would have gotten pulled over by a cop, or even wosre, gotten into a bad accident on the road. There is no telling why events occur: you just have to believe that it all happens for a reason.
There are millions of questions without answers, and acknowledging the idea that it all may lead to a higher purpose will reduce the amount of time spent wondering: "What if?," "why?," or "how come?" As humans we need to move forward and learn from the past. Not everyone may agree with the saying, but from experience I know that those who have even the slightest trust in it are able to free their minds of all the unanswerable questions.
There’s No Place Like Home
Tony Chitwood JrWaves crash down upon my knees as the foaming ocean water seems to swallow me from the distance. The sand slowly climbs above my long toes as the mighty power of the ocean sucks the water back out to sea, only to bring another wave within a second. The light breeze blows my long curly hair. I sit and watch the sunset on our last night of vacation in Hawaii. Hawaii truly represents paradise, no doubt about it. Amazing weather, beautiful beaches, wonderful people, I would do anything just to stay another night. As the night comes to a close I sit along the shore dreaming of one day living in this truly unique destination, a place of beauty and paradise.
After returning home from a long depressing flight, I sit on the family couch and talk to my wise mother. She gives a sigh of relief and says, “There’s no place like home.” I sit bewildered in this thought. How could she say such a thing? Our family just left the islands that most people never live to see. We left a dream, a place of no troubles and relaxation, only to return to traffic, school, homework, and angry disturbed people. We returned to the armpit of America.
Dayton, Ohio stands for nothing special. The pathetic city lags halfway between Columbus and Cincinnati, the two cities where all the fun and action take place. Dayton appears to be like every other city, just more boring than the others. On the outskirts of town farmland stretches as far as the eye can see. There’s nothing to do but stare at cows and corn for mile after mile in that country. The suburbs sit closer in toward the city. Nothing is special about these suburbs, no diversity, no big stories. The daily routine of suburban life consumes this part of town. Day after day the same things take place, nothing different, nothing special. I could tell you the exact time my neighbor would come out to bring his garbage can up from the road every single day. How depressing is that? And the city…well…there is a reason people refer to it as the “Armpit of America.” The schools are terrible, lucky to produce a fifty percent graduation rate. Trash and papers fill the crowded streets where it is near impossible to find a parking spot if you plan on attending a rare social event downtown. And yes, like Hawaii you can watch the sunset, just this time over the murky water of Miami River. The only thing people ever talk about is their desire to leave the city for something better, more exciting, or just something not so depressing. The unpredictable weather in Dayton surprises its citizens every day. It snows on Halloween, rains on Christmas, and the summer…well the skin blisters in the heat.
Could my mother have truly meant this? There is most definitely a place or maybe thousands of places better than Dayton, Ohio. The sound of “There is no place like home,” enrages my spirit. I cannot stand to hear those bitter words come from anyone’s mouth. There is always a place better than home. Every person has their own get-a-way destination, a place to relax and think. I didn’t even believe Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she said those famous words. I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to return to Kansas when they have seen the magical Land of Oz. But then again, Kansas stands on top of dreaded Ohio in my book. Even so, I thought it was a scientific fact that most people desire to escape to the heavenly islands of Hawaii rather ran even pass through Dayton.
Years passed but my thoughts never diverted from their original stance. After high school great opportunities awaited my arrival at the United States Naval Academy. Finally, I had received what I wished for. Eighteen years of imprisonment were finally over. A new home awaited me. I finally left Dayton, the city that had kept me miserable for years. Would I ever come back? Sure, but only to visit my family. Nothing could keep me to stay for more than a day. I already had experienced eighteen years of torture. Why would I put myself through anymore?
As plebe parent weekend approached, I talked to my mother to make plans for our little get-together. Against my best intentions thoughts of home filled my every thought. How could this be? All my life I wanted nothing but to get away from that crummy town of Dayton and move on to more exciting, more adventurous places. Now, the only thing I wanted to do was sit down on the cozy living room couch and talk to family and friends. Could it be that I went against my old train of thought? I don’t understand how this could happen.
That night my roommate asked me about my hometown.
“What’s your town like,” he question in a curious manner.
“Well…it’s amazing,” I responded. “You know…,” I bit my tongue before I said it, but even that could not stop the inevitable event from taking place. “There is no place like home.”Through this epiphany I finally realized what my mother had been talking about. Even though the streets are dirty, few activities occur, and there are no beaches, Dayton is still the place that I call home. My whole story begins there. Home represents more than a city or a beach, or sports teams. Home denotes family, friends, and emotions that will last a lifetime. Finally, I could stand modestly and join my mother in saying, “There is no place like home.”
A Kick in the Head
CLMimsI’d like to tell you the key to success at the United States Naval Academy, to show you what works and how to do it, but I can’t. I could offer you a plethora of wise and helpful sayings such as “The early bird gets the worm” or “Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm,” but those, while being entirely accurate, are impossible to achieve at the United States Naval Academy. You can always try to arrive early or possess constantly enthused thoughts, but its mentally and physically impossible; it just won’t happen.
As depressing as it sounds, it remains unavoidable that things will conflict and you will arrive late or things will go wrong and you will lose your motivation. How your journey at USNA goes derives from a simple combination of luck, common sense, and making the best of your situation. It is a matter of fate you could say. This idea finalized in my head near the end of plebe summer when an unforgettable quote was thrown up in the air unexpectedly.
I tried not to look as Mr. Miller paced sporadically up and down the hallway uniformly lined with the latest additions to the brigade of midshipmen, the plebes. The long, arduous summer was coming to an end and a sense of anxiousness floated in the air: fatigue and sickness affected not only the feeble plebes, but the mighty detailers (the bad guys) themselves. The sun blazed down upon the earth in all of her fury, forcing the future class of 2010 and their unforgiving guides inside the supposed “safety” of Bancroft Hall, the dorms. During this time, the detailers decided to chip in their two cents worth and rained down advice upon the plebes. Now in all honesty, I hate writing about plebe summer and anything to do with being a plebe in general, but I will never forget what one of our detailers, Mr. Miller, said that day.
Taking a break from all of his laborious pacing and ranting and raving, Miller leaned upon the green tiled walls that the calloused detailers had forced us plebes to gaze upon for the past two months. “Keeping your eyes in the boat,” they would call it. I called it stupid. I felt like one those horses you’d see in a city with blinders on so it doesn't get spooked or scared. Last time I checked, I was a curious intellectual, not some Budweiser Clydesdale stallion, so I decided to glance at Miller anyway. He possessed an average build with a coy gut that proved he worked hard, but also that made plenty of time for all of those nights out at the bars. I didn’t mind having him as a detailer, because he was a realistic and frequently funny guy. He took a deep breath, thinking of something (anything) significant to say. His timid gut disappeared for a brief moment as he inhaled the “stinky plebe” air around him.
“If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from this place,” he croaked, “It’s if you wait until the last minute, it only takes one minute to do.”
Mr. Miller was not the most gracious of characters and he usually stumbled over his words with great difficulty, but during this moment he seemed almost saint-like to me, as if he should go down in the books for his glorious, pure, and true words.
Up until the moment of Miller’s memorable quote, I decided that the detailers asked us to do the impossible and that the higher-ups (whoever they might be) demanded the impossible of our noble detailers. I felt my stomach knotting up when no one would admit that one couldn’t accomplish everything, that they set unrealistic expectations for us, and that they mandated the unfeasible for us…until Mr. Miller spoke the truth.I realized that I could only offer my best, and let the rest play out. Sure you have to prepare and what not, but you cannot prepare for everything. The luck and fate parts venture in here: getting stuck in a tough company or a tough squad, being expected to make straight A’s while competing in a sport that leaves you exhausted as you retire back to your room to get started on your massive load of homework, or having someone yell at you for doing something you didn’t even know was wrong. These remain as just a few scores of examples of situations that one cannot control.
Some might argue that Mr. Miller's quote applies to procrastinators only, but I tell these people that they have never lived a day in the life of a midshipman. We are forced to wait until the last minute, because right before that last minute, lingers another last minute for the task we just completed and so on. It is a series of last minutes, of deadlines, of stressful situations. It takes a certain mind frame to get through it all without actually losing your mind.
Once I came to the realization that I can’t do everything, a burden was instantly lifted from my shoulders, cutting the stress in half, because I stopped worrying about every little thing. I know that I can't control everything, so why attempt to? I know events will not always go as planned, so I'll just have to roll with it. I know that when I get down to that last minute, which will happen more frequent than not, I will give it my best, and trust that someone upstairs will take favor in it.
Sopranos
Y.P. DecisiveHis soldiers had just slaughtered a Russian Lieutenant and they did it in the worst way. The soldiers kidnapped the Lieutenant, drove him deep into the snowy New Jersey woods, made him march though the snow barefooted and with the bare essentials in clothing, made him dig his own grave. There, they shot him. These events were bubbling inside Tony’s mind. What repercussions could come of this? This could start a war. The Russians could instead choose to come after his family--his wife, his children. This could be the final straw that would tip the FBI’s evidence against him and land him in prison for the rest of his life. Tony had seen how the business was run, lived it everyday of his life, but now, everything depended on what to do next. He turns to his wife of 20 years, with a troubled look, with the look of desperation, with the look of a man who has battled life everyday, but who tomorrow might lose the war. Tony turns to his wife, Carmela; before he says anything, she says, “Tony, more is lost though indecision, then no decision.” That's all she says before turning over and falling asleep.
“More is lost through indecision, then no decision” comes from an episode of The Sopranos, the last episode before the season finale. What Tony Soprano did next saved both his life and the lives of his family members. I like to think that he found the inspiration and courage to pull though in the words of advice from his wife. I chose this quote because although it is not a well known adage, I live my life by it. Whenever faced with a dilemma of wether to choose to act or to let it pass, I think back to that saying and push forward.
Last weekend, I was in Philadelphia and had one of the most exciting times of my life. I was able to get movement orders to go to the city of brotherly love through joining the YP Squadron. I had a great time commanding the ship, touring all over the great city, eating authentic Philly Cheese steaks and meeting random people, but all that pales in comparison to the nightlife.On both nights of my movement order, I was faced with a decision, a reckless and irresponsible decision, but a choice nevertheless to act or to let the opportunity pass me by. On Friday night, I roamed the city in a group of four; we got hooted at and photographed, and had a dinner so spicy that my face flamed red hot. Two hours before TAPS, two of the group members wanted to turn back and call it a night, but the others wanted to go into a nearby club. Looking at the club, I knew what to expect inside: lots of girls, lots of alcohol, and lots of mixing of the previous two. I knew that it was a dodgy place, but I also knew that if I didn’t at least enter the club, I would always wonder what was inside. Thinking back to the saying, I entered with my friend, and left the other two behind. Upon entering, I was instantly dancing with some anonymous female, and the dancing never stopped. My friend and I danced the night away, and left the club with several phone numbers we would never call and a blank invitation to the Allen Iverson after party that we would not attend.
Upon returning to the ships, I talked to the pair that had left us at the entrance to the club and discovered that the night ended for them the second we stepped into the club. They watched us enter, proceeded to follow, but then stopped. They decided to look around to see if there was anything else to do, and if not, they would come back. They toured the city for about fifteen minutes, and finally decided to return to and enter the club, but by that time, it was too late. The bouncer at the club didn’t give them a reason for not letting them in, he simply said, “Not today boys." They waited for fifteen minutes to make a decision that I made in five seconds, and because of that, I came back to the ship with the time of my life, and all they had was sour grapes. Their indecision ruined that night for them in Philadelphia, because for them, all they saw was the lost opportunity. It hung over their day like a cloud hanging overhead, blocking out the sun. Upon listening to there story, I thought back to the saying, and realized the truth in it, the deeper meaning—that if we don’t have the courage to live our lives, our lives will live us.
Though this phrase does promise rewards for action, it also has its limitations. Taken at face value, many could use it as an excuse to have pre-marital sex, for example, and explain their actions as simply seizing the opportunity. At face value, this is a phrase that is like a blank check for irresponsibility. The words call an individual to make decisions based on emotions rather than logic. It spells out a world made of one time chances and make or break deals; it makes the world look like a sink or swim game, and that’s where many people get lost in the phrase. When people start to lose a sense of reality, they lose a sense of the meaning. When you look at history, the French Revolution could be seen as a by-product to the great flaw of this phrase. The people acted upon instinct and emotion, and consequentially, were destroyed and could only endure the wreck of a prosperous nation. My phrase is a call to action, a sort of rise to arms. It is the thinking of revolutions. I believe that it is an important phrase, and think that everyone should live by it, but also live with a sense of reality.
Building Blocks of the Past
Andrew Faulk
They are not prevalent in my mind as I walk from class to class, or talk to my brother over the phone; in fact I rarely think of them at all. For all intents and purposes they phased out of my life, yet when asked what possession matters most to me I can only help but reminisce humorously-and a little wistfully-about my LEGOS.
It feels as though LEGOS were with me since the dawn of time. I remember the very first time I moved, because that was when I received my first LEGO set. I was three years old, living in Lafayette, Louisiana and my family decided to move from our home in Turtle Creek to a house in Amber Street. I remember my dad handing down to me a small box with the picture of a burly red-bearded pirate on a makeshift raft fending of a shark using a curved, silver sword on the high seas. He opened the box, careful not to destroy the picture, and upended it releasing one small, hole-speckled see-through bag filled with LEGOS. The box also contained a manual of directions, which was ridiculous because the entire set totaled around eight pieces. My dad made a pointed effort to use every step in the manual until he assembled the raft, pirate and shark just like the picture on the box. This instilled in me an abnormal enthusiasm for following instructions to the letter. My dad left me to my devices and continued the move. I remained on an ocean of white carpet for untold hours battling the solitude of the open sea and sharks with my pirate. I was completely comfortable with my isolation, preferring my inner thoughts and dialogues to any other endeavor.
I became fascinated by the artwork on the box. Most of my imagined settings came from variations of the picture: I became intimately aware of the rise and fall of the waves, the splash of the lunging shark held at bay by the parrying thrust of the pirate, and eventually, the little white pricing marked three dollars and fifty cents on the top right hand corner of the box. I knew what that meant. It meant that every penny I earned brought me closer to my next set. By the age of seven I became the original Wendy’s commercial client; but instead of pricing everything in relation to how many Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers I could by, I priced things in relation to their worth in LEGOS. I learned the value of hard work, savings, and patients through the value of my next LEGO set.
Amber Street was not in the best of neighborhoods so my Mom elected to home school my brother Jeremy and me rather than send us to the nearby dilapidated public school. My fervent attitude towards LEGOS was infectious: my brother, my only classmate and constant companion caught the obsession. I could never bring myself to destroy any set made by my meticulous adherence to instruction because I doubted my creative ability to better a model. My brother was the complete opposite. He would build each set according to the rules, and then quickly destroy them to create something new. I used to sit and watch as he made stealth airplanes out of all black pieces, or buildings with secret compartments and rooms, sometimes giving him pointers on how to improve his creation, but never creating my own. LEGOS instilled in me the desire for conformity although their slogan was centered on creation, imagination.
I moved to San Antonio with my family at the age of seven. I started taking my LEGOS to the Vineyard, our new family church, and playing in the back because it was too close to the move to make any friends, and the services were always too incomprehensible to understand. I had my new Ice-Breakers LEGO set, an air plane featuring bright, see-through orange skis for landing gear, a detachable radar system for communication, and a pilot touting a frost resistant suit with a white and orange helmet doubling as a communications device. My mission was to explore the uninhabitable ice planet Hoth. On the desolate planet Hoth, in the back tables of the Vineyard, I met my best friend Bradley Venable. Their was no formal introduction; he just sat down on the table with me, sporting his Ice-Breaker tank with six white wheels and a three man crew with exploration computers and equipment--a fifteen dollar set which outranked my seven dollar and fifty cent one. We had a silent agreement that the planet must be explored, and while we had different opinions on the missions or on what needed to be found, we had an alibi: our LEGOS. I dislike talking on the phone, preferring the simplistic and honest form of actions to words; that day I met someone who spoke to me in my preferred language.
When I turned twelve my Mom decided to stop home schooling us and look to a career of professional teaching. At the age of thirty six she went to college at Trinity University to get her Masters and enrolled my brother and me in public school. I suddenly found myself immersed in a completely new world. Instead of one classmate I had many; instead of the solitude of an afternoon playing Star Wars galactic battle with my brother and the newest LEGO set I could afford, I found myself hanging out with friends at school and doing homework at night. My brother and I remained close, but I no longer had time to play LEGOS. I felt lost…lost in a world without ice planets, pirate ships and space shuttles. However, I knew how to follow directions and create the perfect set, and I knew that in order to succeed in my new environment I had to follow a new set of rules. LEGOS faded from my life, but vestiges of their importance remain; forever the building blocks of my childhood.
The Racing Shell
Scott Keelan
Six of the fastest boats in the nation, all lined up side by side, sat in anticipation of the start. Months of practice and conditioning lead up to that very moment, the last few seconds of silent anxiety before the starting gun. Every individual was in a reflective state of meditation with sweaty palms, a pounding heart, and heaving chests. The referee made the final announcements, raised the flag and…sounded the gun. Instantly, six crews exploded off the starting dock, only the coxswains and the sound of the oars rushing through the placid water broke the silence. Most evident was the precise fluidity and highly developed coordination of each crew as it sliced through the course and advanced towards the finish line. Only the most dedicated and emotionally determined crew would take the gold.
When a crew has reached perfect harmony, carving through the water like a hot knife cutting through butter, it has truly achieved nirvana. Such a feat cannot be accomplished without the racing shell, which serves as a medium between the rower and the water. The clichés of other sports: teamwork, perseverance, and dedication are born within the shell’s hull. However, the racing shell serves as a representation and delineation of the rower that powers the boat. The analysis of the bond between a rower and his boat offers the observer multiple characteristics of the rower’s personality and identity. I believe that many of my personal qualities are evident through the racing shell.
One of the first lessons learned by a novice rower is that when in the boat, when in the sanctity of the racing shell, all rowers are expected to keep silent. The only people talking while out on the water are the coach and the coxswain. This fundamental rule is established in order to maintain the highest level of concentration and to reduce the number of distractions. Personally, I embrace this restriction. Perhaps one of my most evident characteristics is that I am introverted and reticent. Also, I am often identified as reserved and taciturn. My participation in crew and the time that I have spent sitting in the shell has highlighted these characteristics. When in the boat, not only are the rowers not allowed to talk, but the boat is more efficient when silent communication is exercised. Although the rowers may not be able to communicate verbally, their physical actions inside the racing shell express a significant amount of information about each individual’s personality. I often avoid verbal confrontation and through my actions of observed silence, my emotions are evident in either my intensity or lack there of. It is true that through the racing shell, the rower’s actions speak louder than his words.
I often remind myself of an inspirational quote: “The more sweat in training, the less blood in battle.” I thoroughly agree with this statement and believe that the harder a crew practices on the water, the faster it races. Furthermore, a properly maintained racing shell is crucial in both practice and competition. Just as the technique for the stroke is complex, the intricacies and details of the racing shell can be overwhelming. I take pride in thoroughly inspecting the boat and ensuring that its hardware is properly set to optimize efficiency. I think such actions not only exhibit my attention to detail, but also my structured lifestyle. Before every race, I feel somewhat obligated, as well as take pride in, performing a comprehensive inspection on every nut and bolt throughout the boat. I make sure that all the shoes are tied down, all the tracks are greased, and all the rigging is set to the proper calibration. This may seem slightly obsessive compulsive, but any overlooked detail could perchance malfunction in the middle of a race and sacrifice precious time and speed. It is through my inspection of the racing shell that I believe many of my personal characteristics of attention to detail and an organized lifestyle are revealed.
Each one of the eight seats throughout the racing shell has a personality of its own. For example, the bowman, located at the very back of boat, is generally one of the best followers of the group with his ability to stay in cadence at a distance. Furthermore, the stroke seat of the racing shell, the seat at the top of the boat, traditionally is considered the leader of the boat. The stroke seat is responsible for maintaining a consistent intensity and setting the overall tempo of the boat. During a race, the stroke seat must maintain his composure under pressure because his actions are magnified as they pass down the boat. Personally, stroke seat is my favorite position in the racing shell. I enjoy the responsibility that comes with the territory and the thrill of the trust the other seven men place in my hands. I wouldn’t say that my preference to stroke seat necessarily classifies me as a control freak; however I do prefer having authority and influence over certain situations. Not only do I believe my position in stroke seat reflects my need for continuity, I feel is also implies my preference to lead by principle.
Finally, I believe my sheer involvement in crew, simply my commitment to the racing shell, expresses a significant amount about my personality. Crew is not a very high contact sport and the time spent in the racing shell does not include much physical contact. Unlike other sports, there is no tackling, blocking, or boxing-out. I don’t feel that it is necessary to physically overpower the opponent through direct contact. While in the racing shell, I can establish dominance from a distance. I can maintain my gentle and temperate attitude and still come out victorious.
Since my involvement in rowing, the sport has nearly consumed my life. It is a huge time commitment and the majority of that time is spent rowing in the racing shell. Many of my personal characteristics are evident through my relationship with the boat. My observation and embrace of silence not only reflects my introverted attitude, it also conveys my reticent and reserved personality. My devotion and borderline religious dedication to the maintenance of the boat expresses my attention to detail and my organized and structured qualities. My position in the racing shell, specifically stroke seat, correlates to my preference towards management and responsibility over the situation at hand. Also, the limited amount of physical contact while in the racing shell reflects my temperance and placid attitude. I relish my time spent in the racing shell and enjoy rowing day after day. My participation in crew has been one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences through which I have grown not only physically, but individually as well.
Better to Be Re(a)d
David Watland
“Beat Army, Sir!” I shout at a volume only one who has completed plebe summer can match as I chop the seemingly endless staircase to 8-2. Finally, at the top, I square a corner and make a dash for the safety of my room.
“Sir, good afternoon, Mr. Johnson, Sir”
“Shine your shoes better, Watland”
I don’t look back. Finally I reach the spartan surroundings of the room I now call home. My eyes drift to the dust-free bookshelf. On it sits in glory my small collection of reading material, organized tall to small, left to right, as per regulation. Somewhere in the middle, flush to the edge of the shelf, sits a book of medium height and somewhat abnormal width labeled 圣经, Holy Bible. I ponder for a second how many people consider the Bible among their most meaningful possessions, and for good reason. This Bible is meaningful to me for another reason though. Inside the blue cover there are two columns of text, one in English, the other in Chinese. Somehow this is what that Bible represents: I associate with two cultures but don’t really belong fully to either.
My mind drifts back to the day I received the book. The air in late spring had the consistency of some sort of canned soup, at least in Chengdu, China. Anytime someone would step out from the refuge of the AC the unlucky soul would be immediately drenched in sweat. Street peddlers would pull up their shirts to air out their protruding bellies. Apparently in China it is more modest to show off only your navel and surrounding flab than just to take your shirt off. It was on one of these days I was playing pick-up basketball in the park with my so called crew. There with me was Brownrygg from South Africa; Ryan, the self-proclaimed gangster from Washington State; and Hunter a guy roughly my age who claims to be from Georgia but has spent 14 of his 17 years in China.
We were walking out of the park when we noticed a group of Chinese girls pointing and giggling. As a general rule the only thing Chinese girls like more than a Korean pop-star is a tall, handsome American. Gentlemen that we were we had no choice but to invite them out to dinner. In Chengdu dinner means hotpot, a traditional meal that consists of vegetables, tofu, rice noodles, and assorted animal parts boiled together in one big bowl placed in the center of the table. The rule of thumb when eating hotpot is that if there isn’t sweat pouring off your forehead, it’s time to add more hot peppers. After completing our meal, I wished my friends and the ladies “zai jian”, walked out the door, and signaled to a taxi to take me home.
I walked through my guarded gate into the palm-lined avenues of my apartment complex. Upon opening the door I remembered that this was the night my Dad returned home from Singapore. He walked into the living room and sat down next to me on the oriental sofa. After the perfunctory chatter he handed me the book. My father is in his late 40’s and has receding, graying hair. For the past 3 years he has been working with a NGO in China to help make people’s lives better. There are few people I respect more. He told me “You can bring this with you to the Naval Academy, and wherever you go you can remember China and home.”
I look at the characters and it brings that life flashing back to me, the life of carefree independence living overseas. It also brings intense emotions of loss, for the culture I loved but no longer live in, for the diversity of the international community that I just took for granted but now desperately crave.
I then turn to the English column. I read the ancient words “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” These are the words I have grown up with all my life. This is the culture of my birth but there is no joy in reading it. Traditional and clichéd it seems. The Chinese side is fresh and new, an adventure in linguistics, trying to figure out how the Chinese perceive and write the words of truth contained in the book.
Down the center runs a red ribbon bookmark. The color red stands for happiness in China: brides wear red wedding dresses. Back in the United States red stands for blood and communism. Which interpretation of the color is right? To me both make sense, but I rather prefer the Chinese version. This ribbon demonstrates how I like to look at different perspectives without initially labeling one right or wrong. My point of view contrasts sharply with Navy’s rigid view of right and wrong on just about everything. When I read the commandant’s standing orders and came to the fifth one, always do the right thing, I wonder what is the right thing? Is it whatever you tell me is right? Whatever the military tells me is right? Whatever America tells me is right? To me it seems only difference of perspectives. In some countries it is a great sin NOT to let your relatives cheat off your homework. In my class at school all the Koreans cheated off each other and they thought it was the right thing to do. I am reminded by that red ribbon to remain open-minded and not live my life within a box of closed prejudices and opinions.
I start to read the characters again. So many words I knew once I have forgotten over plebe summer and the ensuing weeks. Am I losing that part of my heritage, am I becoming a normal American again? As I close this book, this gift from my father, I think to myself, “I, like this Bible have two cultures influencing my life, and I am wary about labeling one better than the other. Perhaps I don’t know exactly who I am or where I am going, but for now that’s OK”. I don my cover, open my hatch, and scamper off to my next class.
Getting Stuck on the Stuka
Andrew Szoch
One of my most prized possessions is something that originally wasn’t even mine. It was an old piece of junk, something I found hidden away in a box full of plastic pieces. I took it out, and with the help of its original owner, made the JU 87 WW2 German Stuka model airplane my first rebuilding project.
My father built the dive-bomber a the same early age of 13. When I found the box full of all his old projects, it was interesting that the first plane I picked up and worked on was this one aircraft. As it turned out, that this had also been the first plane my dad built, and his personal favorite. When I went to ask him about it and if I could play around with fixing his model, he was excited in remembering his old days and some of the favorite machines he had built. I ended up getting a great deal – not only could I fix the plane, but he would help me with it as well as some others. Just like my dad (now and then), the excitement to start fixing the plane started building up inside me like a jet firing up before takeoff. But, as usual, my dad put a damperon that for a bit. In order to fix the plane, we needed to find all the correct parts and know where they go. Luckily, the plane was in good enough shape that it wasn’t missing too much, and the pieces were still in the box. I searched frantically until I found them, and hurried to my dad to find out what to do next. We needed glue. We had no model glue. We also didn’t have some paints we needed, so yet again, I had to wait a painful few hours until we went to the store, got the supplies, and came home ready to get started. Lunch time (more waiting). Finally, we had everything we needed: glue, parts, the plane, full stomachs, and 2 energetic kids.
To get started, we first needed to paint over all the old, faded spots. According to my dad, that also meant covering the parts that still looked fine so that they wouldn’t look different, and there would only be one shade where there is meant to only be one shade. He showed me how to shake the paint, brush the paint on, use thinner to correct mistakes, even the paint out, thinner to correct mistakes, find the shade we needed, open the paint, use thinner to clean the floor, set the parts out to dry, and use thinner and soap to clean our hands. By this time, we had used so much thinner we were both having a great time because we were so high on the fumes. Unfortunately, this fun had to wait again while the paint dried and we got a snack.
After snacking and looking through some of the other cool models (which included some tanks, Navy battleships, army trucks, American cars, and a beer keg flatbed truck), the aircraft was ready to be reassembled. We took out the toxic glue (because toxic dries faster than non-toxic), and found some of the main pieces to put back on. My father showed me how to put each piece on and how to support it so that it dries in the correct position. To put all the pieces on in one night would have been impossible, so we did as much as we could before dinner. After dinner, we did a few more, and went to bed. Before we even glued on the first piece, I should mention my father was teaching me how to do it properly. He knew that we would not finish the plane, and made sure I would be able to do it on my own while he was at work. I later finished it the next day using his training as my guidelines. He was ecstatic at the outcome. We took the plane to my room and, using fishing wire, hung it from the ceiling at an angle that made it look like it was flying down for a drop on a ship.
This fond experience between me and my father, brought together by the simple model airplane, is one of the first I have of a greatly improved relationship with my father. I gained a respect for him. He took his whole day off just to spend it with me. It wasn’t even about the plane for him; it was about making me happy and teaching me to love something he so loved as a child as well. He seems to follow the old proverb “Light a man a fire, and he’s warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” He lit me on fire with a great enjoyment of building models. He lit me on fire with a love of spending time with him and wanting to learn from him as much as I possibly could. He lit me on fire with an appreciation of what fathers are for their children and gave me the role model of what I want to be like as a father. On top of the newly discovered love for building models and the closer relationship with my father, the airplane reveals much more about me. It shows my ability to fix old things, and my joy in doing so. It shows my diligence and hard work starting with that one long day of fixing that model Stuka. It shows my perfectionism, because we did not leave anything untouched that I thought to be unacceptable (the plane now looks better than new quite literally). I learned patience, because model building is not at all something to hurry. And finally, it shows my acceptance and enthusiasm at trying new things as well as taking help from others. I could have easily just turned away at any point in the process of rebuilding the plane, but I decided to stick with it, even when I had to wait like the restless child I was to do the next thing. This Stuka represents for me all the hard work I have given in my life, all the new things I have had to learn and take on, and a wonderful relationship with my father that I know many people don’t have even as adults.
Or·gan·i·za·tion·
Steve Malinoski
“Put this card in front, I’ll be using it the most. Put this identification in the front pouch. It is of highest priority. Put the money in just that way, that way it’ll be easier to get out when zero hour comes. Don’t put that trash in there! You don’t need those cards in your way. Keep things in working order; keep your mind sharp.”
It tells a lot about who someone is and how one’s life is lived. It shows how much effort one puts into life. A wallet defines everything I am speaking about. It exemplifies one’s priorities; it exemplifies one’s interests. It matters to me. It is the essence of organization and thus, allows me to learn from it the basics of organization. Organization of the mind allows me to think clearly and work under pressure more effectively. Organization of my material possessions allows me to work more quickly and with more efficiency. Organization is the most important concept to have in my life because it allows me to live with less stress and to get more done with my time. My wallet is the medium for which my organization can be judged. It shows me what I’ve done and where I’m going next.
Once I have my priorities situated, I can move on in the day with ease of mind. I’ve got everything in just the right place in my wallet. “Identification card please?” Sure, I know exactly where that is before I even open the wallet. “Do you have change for a five?” Yup, I know that I have exactly 6 one dollar bills in my wallet. It may not be much money, but I know exactly what and where it is. No need to look to check: just open it up and grab five. Just as I have things accounted for in my wallet and correctly placed, I like to have everything accounted for in my mind and placed accordingly. No loose ends dangling. “Did I leave on the lights?” No. I’ve got things under control. “Where is my second period again?” It’s at Sampson Hall on the zero deck in room 04 with Professor O’Brien. It is imperative that I have that situational awareness. Keeping my mind organized requires me to keep my priorities straight: to know what’s coming, know where I’m going. “What should I do with this free period of mine?” I should do my English paper, of course. Just as I have everything in my wallet in order of priority, I have everything in my plan of the day in order. Organizing my mind matters to me because it allows me to work efficiently and think clearly.
To work quickly and efficiently, I need to have my material possessions organized as well. My wallet can be the gauge of this. If my wallet is in working order then the rest of my possessions will be too. “Is the business card in front?” No, not unless it’s my business. Keep that trash in the back. The credit card belongs up front, along with that card to the gym I’ve never gotten around to going to. Keep the books I use the most up front, near the book-end. No need to make things difficult. Organize things efficiently, the first time. “Can I see your Driver’s License?” It’s been a long time since I’ve been asked that question. But of course I have it. I’m always ready, always prepared. “Waiting on the line of a computer operated phone when it suddenly gives me the number I have been waiting half of my life for?” I’ve got a pad and pen. It’s right here. More than keeping things in working order; organization is always having the materials you need to complete the mission. It’s important to me because I’m always on a mission. Whether it is doing homework or carrying out daily errands, it is beneficial to me to always be organized and ready.
“So what’s in a wallet?” I always have my wallet. If I’m going somewhere without my wallet, it probably isn’t a very important place to be. It has everything I might need to stay organized materially. It’s organized in order of priorities, just as I try to organize my plan of the day in my mind. It matters to me because I like to always be ready and always be able to carry out my tasks quickly and effectively. No room for error. No room for wasting time to find things. No room. If can’t find it in 30 seconds, I don’t need that trash. The less space taken up the better organized I am. Organize it more effectively, prioritize things. Stay on top of things, don’t let them pile up and be forgotten. If I have too much going on, I organize the things in a planner. Or even on a piece of paper that is kept in my wallet.
Get Down to to Business
Julian ScottAn advertisement’s first and foremost goal is to convince an audience to buy a product. In undertaking such an endeavor, an “ad” will usually either explicitly or implicitly project an image of a flawless and amazing, yet still realistic and attainable, commodity upon the consumers. It would seem that the Microsoft Corporation has ignored this norm in advertisement with its own magazine ad for business management software (click). At first glance the ad seems to be a candid picture of an average American working man with a few headlines at his feet advertising the software product. Granted, business management software is not something easily marketed to a wide audience (unlike clothes or electronics) and Microsoft is an extremely wealthy company (a company who has programmed its own software to capitalize “Microsoft” automatically as I type this paper), but they still have to try to sell this software to someone. Examining the ad from a more analytical perspective reveals Microsoft’s primary goal – to offer possible consumers the prospect of a managerial tool that will literally work hard for the hard working. “Down to business” is the advertisement’s true message and it pushes this message not only through explicit visual and literary techniques, but through implicit ones as well - much like what the aforementioned “normal ad” does.
The healthily overweight, bald, conservatively dressed male displayed prominently in the advertisement is not the average poster boy for any product (aside from Viagra), so it would seem odd to make him the center of attention. However, the idea of a hardworking, nothing but business attitude is clearly present. The man is not looking at the camera, almost as if he is unaware (or unaffected by) its presence. Combine this with the detail of the motion of his arms not being “cleaned up” with digital technology and the whole image of this man expresses the idea that his work remains much too important to stop for anything. The picture is also taken from a ground-up perspective which not only makes the man appear larger than life, but also displays the vastness of the warehouse and the amount of work that is to be done. The overall image portrayed is of how this ordinary man, now transformed into a hero of sorts, will go about all of this work that waits to be done methodically and efficiently with his sleeves rolled up and a confident look on his face – the exact same way in which Microsoft’s product will work for your business. In many ways, it would appear that the seemingly randomly chosen picture is actually an embodiment of the slogan printed at the top left of the page – “Your potential. Our Passion.” It could even be said that, because of the slogan’s placement, it is not simply a printed slogan but a caption describing what is going on in the photograph.
The picture clearly makes up the bulk of the advertisement and obviously captures any reader’s attention first. If the photograph does succeed in catching the attention of the possible customers, their eyes will eventually move to the blue field in an attempt to find out more about the product that is being sold. What the possible consumer finds here is not the usual, vague wording and phrasing found in most advertisements but short and concise statements about the function and reliability of Microsoft’s new software. Words that convey power and intuitiveness such as “dynamic”, “master” and “people-ready” express the same idea of hardworking and efficient productivity that the photograph conveys. The language itself also promises this high performance to the readers. It may be different in construction from language usually found in advertisements, but it serves the same purpose. The quick and concise statements seem down to business and absent of any fluff but they still do exactly what linguistic devices in most advertisements do: they project an image of a flawless but seemingly realistic and easily attainable commodity.
Microsoft’s ad offers potential customers the prospect of a product that is work oriented and disassociated from phony advertising mantras and the usual over exaggeration and misrepresentation of the actual product being offered. Upon first glance their ad looks to be so free of these marketing notions that one could even call it pathetic, especially when compared to other ads in the same magazine. But underneath the façade of this earnest image lie the exact same devices that marketers use to reel in consumers. The only difference here is that ad is geared to a narrower audience and takes a different approach in appealing to potential customers. Also, it can not be that easy to use because it is made by Microsoft, the makers of Windows XP, so one knows that they are “fluffing” it in some way.
Blue
J. R. MoffitVenturing through my monthly sports sanctuary, ESPN the Magazine, this week, I stumbled upon an advertisement that had me at “POLO” (click). For all intents and purpose, please put aside the fact that I have already been an avid and dedicated, even religious, user of this product for four years. Also, put aside the well known fact that this product, as seen in my past, successful experiences, gets all the ladies. As I was saying, I happened to discover a Ralph Lauren Polo “Blue” cologne “ad.” But this was no ordinary copy/paste, black and white, “This is what we’re selling to you,” advertisement. The Polo Blue “ad” efficiently promoted its product through its ability to involve the observer with a fragrant sample, its use of shades of blue to keep the product name memorable, and its text’s simple diction and phrasing to make it feel like a “must-have” product.
“This smells like beach! It’s so good!” my classmate, Chelsea, exclaimed as I had her indulge herself in the Polo advertisement. The interactive qualities of this ad allow its reader to truly associate past experiences and memories with the product, creating an unseen bond between the two. For Chelsea, the scent reminded her of a good day at the beach. This is understood, because if her memories of beaches were bad, she would have said, “This smells like beach! It’s so terrible!” This bond between product and memory, Polo corporate big timers hope, sells the product. As you, the promising client, turn to the ad, right away you notice the flap on the front page, which for most, sparks the initial influence. Readers comment to themselves that this is “no ordinary” ad. It will take three senses to fully understand the ad: sight, touch, and smell. And so, you, the engaged reader, unfold the crease and lower your face into the advertisement. As the page engulfs your nose, the smell engulfs your nostrils, and the urge to acquire the product engulfs your heart. The interactive ability of the ad makes the reader involved, therefore increasing the chance for future sales. Giving the time to engage in an ad means giving the time, consciously or subconsciously, to think about buying the object of the ad. As a result, Polo’s efforts to add sense-stimulating features to the ad create a more prosperous product.
Blue, the mythical color representing water, a symbol of life in almost every culture in history ranging from the Nile-dependent Egyptians to the John-baptized Christians to the Siddhartha-cleansing Buddhists, absolutely overwhelms this advertisement. Multiple variations of blue are present throughout this ad, making product name recognition much easer. As you observe the ad and comment in your head, “wow, look at all the blue,” and then try to remember the product’s name next time you have weekend liberty, you’ll remember, “something blue, oh yeah, Blue!” Memorable azure objects include the water, the towel, the shading the Polo emblem on the models shirt, the sky, and even the writing. Along with the cerulean ad, the product itself, as depicted in the ad, is a deep, smooth, borderline navy blue. It is easy, then, to associate the color, blue, with the product and its name. Also, as previously suggested, once you have overcome the physical sense of blue in the ad, the mythological aspects associated with the color blue make it an unforgettable product. In naming the aroma “Blue,” the sellers also suggest that the product has some life-giving, cleansing or healing qualities. It’s almost as if, if you spray this scent on you, you will be healed, cleansed and transformed into a new man; you may regain your purity (as the very white shirt on the model proposes). This aspect, coincidentally, also makes the cologne attractive. The vendors, as examined, undoubtedly had an intention in making the advertisement adherently blue, and naming the product as such.
The cologne ad has its affective imagery and its industrious tangibility, but an additional aspect that works for it, is its simple, striking word choice. “The New Classic for Men,” is its “catch phrase,” implying that this product is stylish, tasteful cologne, and if you wear it, you too embody such traits. Also as you curiously open the fragrance flap, your nose touches a hidden, little poem in the crease of the page. Pulling your head back, you will read, “The freedom of the big, blue sky, the energy of the open waters, an invigorating blast of fresh air, Polo Ralph Lauren Blue.” It is plain enough to see the message urged by this poem: this product allows you freedom and re-energizing. This diction hints that you may be totally free and, as mentioned earlier, revitalized by using this cologne. You will be liberated. (It also comes off as very personal, one-on-one; freedom, rejuvenation are very individual terms). It additionally falls back onto the significance of Blue, as “Blue” is written everywhere on the ad. Much of the phrasing, as plain and uncomplicated as it is, really invests into the readers senses, making the product seem like a necessity. Thus, three methods make a simple toilet water smell, seem like nectar obtainable only to the gods.
Ralph Lauren’s advertising crew truly did a spectacular job in putting together this advertisement. Its effortless wording describes preferable, accessible characteristics, if bought and worn; characteristics that would put the reader among the finest. Also, the application of blue and its literal and figurative presence help make the cologne even more eye-catching and remarkable. The added sample scent flap rounds it off with a fraction of interaction in the ad that forces the reader to consider purchasing the product, or at least engraves some distinct remembrance of the product in the reader’s mind. These techniques, alone, would make for a successful advertisement, but molding them collectively makes for a masterpiece that envelops every feature that the salesperson desires the purchaser to identify regarding the product. Polo Ralph Lauren Blue: it’s invigorating, refined, liberating, unforgettable, and, well, blue.
The Flagship of the New Hyundai Fleet
Scott TerrySince its introduction into the United States, the Korean Hyundai Motor Company has struggled with image. Seen as nothing more than a bargain car company, Hyundai found its niche as a first car for high school/college kids, rather than as a competitor against Japanese makes such as Honda and Toyota. Thus, its new line of advertisements attempts to do more than just sell you a car; it attempts to redefine its brand image (click). Through its use of mottos, choice of words, background, and presentation of the car itself, Hyundai makes a noticeable effort to say this is more than just a new car; it’s a new brand.
Plagued by the reputation that Hyundai just makes cheap little foreign cars, unsuitable for the professional world, this advertisement encourages the new car shopper to “Rethink Everything.” Essentially, you are supposed to rethink what you think of Hyundai. They are pleading with you just to take another look, suggesting that the brand is not what it used to be. The other motto, “Drive your way,” also plays nicely into this theme of brand redefinition. Buying a Hyundai should no longer be viewed as giving in to your practical side and buying a car you do not want just because it is a good deal. Buying a Hyundai is doing exactly what you want, doing things your way. Unlike your colleagues at work, you have not fallen into the over-priced trap of Lexus and Infiniti. You are unique, enjoying a car with many of the same features at half the price.
The features that the advertisers choose to highlight in the caption are also a significant element of the advertisement. Safety does not usually come to mind when thinking of a Hyundai. In fact, for some, the opposite comes to mind, shoddily built, dinky, unreliable. By highlighting safety features, Hyundai is not only laying to rest a poor brand image it is also thrusting itself into the family car market. Also, you can rest assured that it is reliable because it comes with America’s Best Warranty.
The caption is also significant for what it leaves out. No longer does Hyundai waste its print on features such as a CD player, air conditioning, or power windows and locks. Hyundai wants you to begin looking at it on the same parallel as other more popular brands, and Hyundai knows that cars are now expected to have those features. In other words, having those features does not set you apart. It just brings you up to par, so there is no reason to draw attention to them in a magazine article. Along similar lines, Hyundai does not list a price, suggesting that price is no longer the predominant reason to buy a Hyundai. The advertisers hope that you’ll still think of a good deal when you see the Hyundai label, but they no longer want that to be the only thing you think of.
Now that the text of the advertisement has been analyzed, let’s take a closer look at the actual image. The setting the car is pictured in is basically a visual image of the “rethink everything” motto. The older looking city off in the distance and the stormy sky is perhaps a subtle acknowledgement of where Hyundai has been. However, its new car is now surrounded by nothing but modernity. In fact, with one of the modern buildings taking the place of “H” in “Rethink Everything,” and the Sonata protruding directly from the building, the ad suggests that the new Sonata and the Hyundai brand it represents is in perfect harmony with this modern setting. Furthermore, the car is on top of a building, which usually does not happen. One might say you either have to rethink everything or drive your way to get a car on top of a building. However, cars, somehow elevated in the sky, seem to be a reoccurring theme in many car advertisements, suggesting that the buyer of the car will in some way be above and beyond his peers.
When looking at the car itself, one of the most noticeable items is the choice of color. It seems as if grey is a somewhat bland color, not allowing the car to stand out from the background. But given Hyundai’s attempt at a new image this might be exactly what the ad intended. After all, aren’t most of those Lexus and Infiniti your friends drive to work either black or grey? Hyundai realizes that it does not sell sports cars. It is also attempting to expand beyond the “first car” market. Therefore, a professional looking grey was an ideal choice, placing it right in line with the modern streamline world, yet somehow above its competitors. Furthermore, the gleam on the car’s grille and the shadow to its left leave little doubt that the car is pointed towards the sun, just as the advertisers would like you to think the Hyundai brand is headed upwards.
All of these elements combine to make for an appealing advertisement. The modern buildings are used as the eye catching element, and the car is cool and modern by association. Despite all these textual and visual components designed to make you look twice at purchasing a Hyundai, the best selling element of the ad is the car itself. Modern buildings and catchy mottos wouldn’t be enough had Hyundai not actually delivered. However, the Sonata in the picture truly does look professional and modern compared to the Sonata’s of the past. Other brand emblems such as the “T” of Toyota or the intertwined circles of Audi would not look entirely out of place on its grille. That being said, this ad does a good job of advancing the Hyundai brand image through the promotion of its flagship automobile, the Sonata.
Romance for Only the Special
Amanda LauIn an age dominated largely by materialism, advertisers seek to utilize the fundamental human desire of being accepted, or more specifically appearing attractive. Thus to rake in sales, they use glamorous and seductive models in advertisements, hoping to pressure the common person into desiring to be like these seemingly consummate individuals. Ralph Lauren is no exception judging from the advertisement for the company’s “Romance” fragrance for women (click). All in all, the merchants behind the advertisement seek to attract customers through sensual, visual influence as well as crafty rhetoric.
In the most blatant manner, the advertisement is strategically designed to visually attract female customers through idolization. In doing so, a gorgeous female model is selected to induce insecurity in the common woman, making her feel that she too must match this level of beauty if she is to entice a virile man as the female model in the add does. In turn, Ralph Lauren’s fragrance is implicitly depicted as the cure to this insecurity. While the advertisement, without question, objectifies women, it does so in a subtle and classy manner as opposed to other ads that display nearly naked women in provocative positions, openly insinuating sex. The poses that the models assume suggest an innocent, romantic relationship. Furthermore, the choice of black and white coloring further adds to the overall sophisticated feeling of the ad, conveyed by the models.
Undoubtedly, the use of beautiful women to advertise products is effective, proven by continual usage dating back to the beginning of advertising. However, one cannot ignore the ideological assumptions made the Ralph Lauren ad as well as others of the same nature. In essence, they draw false conclusions, implying that all women can be made to look attractive. Unfortunately, this statement is far from true though many are blinded from the reality owing to inspiration provided by these crafty advertisements. Furthermore, in selecting a beautiful model, Ralph Lauren creates an assumption about the standard for male and female beauty. While the couple in the ad may seem perfect to some, others may be complete “turned off” by them.
The visual implications in the ad do well alone to advertise the product, but the language, however sparing it may be, serves to tie the add together, making it a powerful device of persuasion. By labeling the product as “the women’s” fragrance, Ralph Lauren conveys the feeling that this perfume is what defines femininity, thus convincing women that this perfume is what they need to define their sexuality. Moreover, the strategic use of the word “the” as opposed to “a” implies that this fragrance is the one and only, creating the two-extremes fallacy. Consequently, those so infatuated by the advertisement will falsely develop the idea that no other feminine fragrances exist while there are in fact millions of others on the market. Moreover, the name “romance” suggests the idea that Ralph Lauren is trying to associate with the fragrance. While fragrances are meant to give off a sweet and pleasant sense, the name “romance” of this particular fragrance implies that it has more than the normal capabilities.
In essence, the visual effects and the language together combine to commit the logical fallacy of wishful thinking. The picture of the couple targets women who want a romantic relationship and by dubbing the fragrance with the name “romance,” and advertising it with a couple engaged in a seemingly romantic relationship, Ralph Lauren seeks to manipulate these women into believing that “romance” will aid them in attaining such a romantic relationship. Thus women who are desperate enough will be influenced by this add and convinced that buying “romance” will help her attract a significant other. This wishful thinking leads to the commitment of yet another logical fallacy, false cause and effect. By juxtaposing the perfume and the picture of the two models in a romantic relationship, the ad suggests that one leads to the other. However, common sense reveals that a romantic relationship will not come from nowhere if one buys simply buys and uses the perfume.
All in all, Ralph Lauren employs visual sensation as well as stealthy language to sell its fragrance “romance”. In doing so, it makes ideological assumptions and commits several logical fallacies as do most ads of the same natures. When it comes down to it, this ad is just like any ad as its sole purpose is to sell and promote that you are in fact getting something out of the ordinary. According to this Ralph Lauren, purchasing the fragrance “Romance” will indeed bring you romance as it did the female model in the ad.
If You Spray It, Off They Come
Jonathan RossMost of us can truthfully say that our earliest social interaction with the opposite sex, other than family members, took place on the playgrounds and in the classrooms of our first school. From these early beginnings, we learn that sexuality is a game in which there are winners and there are losers. Experience teaches us that winners seek out every advantage possible to make them selves stand out from their competition and thus seem more attractive to the target. The Tag body spray advertisement exploits men’s psychological craving to be masters of their own fate, by offering them a fool proof advantage in a game of cards over their female adversary (click). The act of gambling ensures an uncontrollable outcome, yet the ad offers men the assurance of victory. Its use of witty language, its allusion to the loose morals often displayed in Las Vegas, and its employment of humor in the form of the “invinci-card” all appeal to men’s inner vanities.
One question that the reader immediately asks themselves upon viewing the advertisement, how did three beautiful women end up in one man’s apartment playing strip blackjack with him? The ad’s lack of context explaining the presence of the women allows the reader to infer for himself (since the ad is obviously directed towards males) the reasoning behind the females being there. The creators of the ad employ a brilliant strategy here, because it leaves the reader with only one plausible explanation for the females’ presence; that only the tag body spray could have convinced the women to join him in his apartment. The makers of the ad know that their male audience will accept the advertisement because they know that deep down every man wishes that sexuality were that simple.
The advertisement’s setting and seating arrangement play directly into Tag Body Spray’s psychological ploy designed to attract male readers. The lone male in the ad sits with his back to the reader, allowing only the back of his head to be viewed. This placement allows the figure to represent every man in his own imagination. The three women are pooled from different cultures in order to cater to a wider variety of male tastes in women. The apartment looks sparsely decorated specifically so that it will not seem to represent a single consumer group, thus turning other groups of males away. The walls remain neutral with a brown-beige color. The stereo system in the background represents the only other piece of furniture in the room besides the table and couches.
The idea that men have a psychological need to seek out risk in everyday life in order to remain content with their surroundings has become a prolific stereotype in today’s media. The act of playing strip blackjack in itself carries a certain amount of risk; however, this ad doesn’t just bring you a cheap game in the back of some smoke- filled card room. No! It brings the fun and excitement of Las Vegas, the center of American decadence and loose morals, into the comfort of your own living room. The red warning label jumps out at the reader like the flashing letters on a Vegas billboard. The bright colors of the women’s shirts glow with the radiance of the neon lights on the Vegas strip. The ad once again lays the blame for these developments at Tag Body Spray’s feet by claiming that the new wild card scent contains “3.5 ounces of Vegas in a can.”
The ad’s witty language intentionally appeals to the wise-ass group of young males that it advertises to. The ad’s warning label sarcastically advises men that using Tag Body Spray will place them in danger of seeing beautiful women take their clothes off. The ad even uses the moniker “Consider Yourself Warned” as its slogan. The advertisement employs the general assumption that young males are devious to create humor with the addition of the invinci-card. Obviously, the use of the card will never stand in an actual game of twenty-one. Instead, the card acts as a symbol. Its presence assures the reader that the makers of Tag Body Spray think on the same mischievous level that they do. More importantly, the card acts as a symbol of control.
Men will always seek the power to control their own fate or destiny. The Tag Body Spray advertisement claims to provide this control, by offering a scent that is literally irresistible to the female sex. If the advertisement does nothing else, it certainly flatters its male audience by leading them to believe that they possess intelligence greater than that of their female adversaries. Man is the hunter, the advertisement claims, and women are the hunted. The ad doesn’t sell sex, entertainment, or even a hygiene product. The advertisement sells power, and power is perhaps the most desirable of all human vices.
There are several questions that remain unanswered by the ad. For instance, what does the new “wild card” scent actually smell like? It could smell like fruit, clean laundry, a French whorehouse, or just like the old Tag with only a new label added. The label isn’t any help either, with only a poker chip displayed on it. A second question is raised by the presence of an alcoholic drink in the foreground. Alcohol would certainly lower a person’s inhibitions much more quickly than any fragrance. Why even buy tag body spray in this case? The advertisement makes no attempt to explain any of this.
Every day people convince themselves that half-truths are actually whole truths in order to make them selves feel more happy, secure, and confident. The Tag Body Spray ad delivers to the reader a half-truth. Wearing the new “wild man” scent effects not so much the females who come in contact with it but the men who wear it. Wearing the scent provides men with the attractive qualities of confidence and security, two traits much more powerful than any fragrance. Deep down most men know this; however, they continue to see the product as the wonder drug the advertisement describes not because they know that it is truth but because they want to.
Prada
Alexander McIntoshThe advertisement caught my eye in the most obvious way (click). Perhaps I’m far too manly, and I just can’t help that. I saw this image and knew that one day I would have this woman. Now, that initial reaction doesn’t really perturb me. I mean, after all, the image seems designed to present a woman that men want and women want to be. That, at least, correlates with my understanding of the whole “sex sells” issue. However, this Prada perfume advertisement seems to take this method in a twisted way. The advertisement presents itself in a classy and refined manner. This is unique because it does so by depicting an apparently scandalous character. Further, Prada even goes so far as to entice the viewer with socioeconomic distinction.
I first noticed the apparent refinement of the photo. This is accentuated most blatantly by the choice of black and white background. The black and white image reminds us of older movies and photographs, and thus older times. The black and white makes the image less lively. Everything feels slowed down and thus more delicate. In this way, the black and white image has its unique beauty. You devote less attention to color correlation. As a result you focus more keenly on the other aspects of the photo: the contours and shapes, the contrasts and shadows. For some reason these tendencies correlate to a cognitive thought and, traditionally, get connected to some less superficial view of things. Because of all this you feel the image has a deeper, more refined, even statuesque, persona about it.
Yet, in spite of how classical the image appears, the picture remains peculiar because of the immediate clash among the conduct, poise, and environment of this woman. This woman wears what appears to be a bathing suit with a silk robe over it. Now, I won’t pretend to know all that much about clothing (I guess that explains why I didn’t choose a clothing advertisement); I will, however, claim to know enough about woman to know this: if a woman steps outside in an outfit like that, she probably has an agenda. Obviously she sprays herself with the perfume while sitting in the back of a car. Cars are driving beside her and behind her with their lights on, indicating a night setting. Now, as far as I am concerned, perfume serves two purposes: to instigate a good smell or to cover up another scent. So, from what I can see, we have a beautiful young woman, riding in a car to (or from) some ambiguous location, in the middle of the night, wearing almost nothing, with her hair down, and she decides either to cover up a smell, or smell good for some person(s). Right away, I can’t help but feel her agenda has something to do with sex.
I find it most interesting how these two main aspects – the classic composition and the apparent sexual nature of this model and her situation – don’t clash or contradict each other, as they most likely should. Instead, it seems they somehow form a nice harmony, and complement each other to make the image exotic and beautiful. But what strikes me the most is that I don’t think that would be possible without all the glamorous possessions in it. She has laying beside her an alligator skin purse. It might not necessarily be alligator, but it certainly resembles some sort of reptile. I won’t pretend to know all that much about purses, but I doubt reptiles come cheap. Her robe looks soft and smooth, with a little shine to it, most likely silk. She sits in the back of a clean car, where the chrome shines in spite of the lack of light. On top of that, she sits in the back, almost as if someone is chauffeuring her in a limousine. The woman herself almost looks like an object. She has such grace to the way she sits, holds the perfume bottle, tilts her head back; even the way her robe lays half on, drooping over her shoulder looks graceful. If in contrast she was slightly overweight, had frizzy hair, too much makeup, bruised up legs, wearing old Wal-Mart brand underwear beneath a torn bathrobe she stole from the Holiday Inn, using a plastic bag as a purse, and all while sitting in the back of a beaten up, dirty taxi, I doubt the image of her ambiguous sexual encounter would entice anyone to purchase Prada perfumes. Instead, it seems that the apparent wealth of this woman, the fact that her surrounding are all sleek and graceful, makes the adjacent sexual innuendoes look just as sleek and graceful. It almost struts out to say: money plus sex equals sexy, Prada implies sexy, therefore Prada implies wealth and sex.
It almost enforces superior command on the viewer. This woman appears so sexy, has such beauty to her, and seems so successful. Yet, in the end (or beginning) of the night, she puts on her Prada perfumes, just to give her that little edge. It shines an illusion that Prada exhibits success on a magnitude of levels. This almost enslaves the viewer to need these perfumes in order to achieve a high status of wealth and sex appeal. The average woman cannot look at this image and say she fits the persona of this model; the average woman could never appear so glamorous in such a sketchy situation. That plagues a fear, that this woman contains some certain superiority. Just when this feeling sets in, and the viewer lowers her eyes in defeat… what sits there at the bottom of the page? What gives this woman her edge, her superiority? Oh! It’s Prada Perfumes!
“Fresh since 1822”
Caleb McKinnonThe cowboy is an American icon. A rugged and lonesome individual, he is limited only to the simple pleasures that he can carry in his saddlebags. Thus, inevitably, his tin can of Copenhagen© becomes an inseparable symbol of comfort in his life (click). It serves as a reminder of the pleasures that he has been forced to surrender for the sake of his occupation. Yet, through Copenhagen©, he can taste a glimpse of the goodness of the pleasures of home. Of course, the appeal of this ad only reaches to a select group of males who admire the lasting nature of the cowboy illustrated through the use of black and white coloring. By depicting a deeper, intimate connection between the cowboy and his smokeless tobacco the Copenhagen© Tobacco Company communicates that they truly appreciate what the cowboy represents, masculinity.
This ad has an emotional appeal because of its comparison between a cowboy and Copenhagen©. There is an allusion of a personal relationship between the cowboy and his smokeless tobacco as he deftly scores the paper of the can with a screwdriver. It becomes a ritual. The action communicates the idea that the Copenhagen© is a part of his identity. The classic representation of the “original” cowboy – a thickly mustached man with dusty sweat stained hat, bandana, faded denim jacket, protruding belt buckle, and worn leather slacks – suggests a man that has been deprived of a warm bed and hot meal but is satisfied with a substitute. The mission of the cowboy is to sacrifice his comforts for a greater good resulting in his weathered persona, and ultimate masculinity, because he humbly and quietly finds satisfaction without inconveniencing others. He is self-sufficient. Thus the ad invokes the audience to believe that using Copenhagen© defines him as a “true” cowboy because the smokeless tobacco is “The Original” and means he is a real man.
More subtly, the slogan, “Fresh since 1822,” stamped in bold print atop every can of Copenhagen© conjures the fallacious belief that “older is better.” Indeed, there is an appeal to history because the smokeless tobacco brand has existed for over one-hundred and fifty years. The tobacco becomes a direct connection to the past. And, by partaking in the same tobacco it ensures the surviving sentiment of the true cowboy. Moreover, the age instills a great trust in the audience because cowboys have always used Copenhagen©. Members of the audience value the enduring nature of the man who won the west and through this tobacco they can take part in this heritage because they now embody the same image – faded clothing with a can of Copenhagen© in hand. Ultimately, the ad aims to build trust in the consumer by indicating that Copenhagen© smokeless tobacco has survived the test of time just as the cowboy. The tobacco reaches distinction as authentic because the legacy of the cowboy has invariably trusted the brand.
Specifically the quote, “Born and Bred from The Original” is another idea intrinsic to the cowboy. The success of a cowboy rests on the quality of his cattle or good stock. The advertisement introduces the new Copenhagen© Long Cut with allusion to the relationship between a cowboy and good breeding. The company certainly knows that a cowboy gives long thought and special consideration to siring the best stock of cattle. Copenhagen© successfully makes this connection because they realize the admiration of their audience towards the real ranchman and cowboy. The deliberate use of language communicates that the new cut of tobacco is a result of careful thought and preparation that does not compromise the qualities of the premium original tobacco that they have produced from the beginning.
Finally, the lack of color and concealment of the cowboy’s face leaves a lasting impression. The choice of a black and white picture suggests a timeless nature of the cowboy because it accentuates the lack of modern conveniences. It depicts the fact that the cowboy is the same now as he was one hundred years ago convincing the reader that the quality of Copenhagen© tobacco has never been anything but premium. Further, the inability to see the entire face of the cowboy points to the focal point of the picture, the can of Copenhagen© long cut. The anonymity of the cowboy easily allows the audience to envision their own perception of a cowboy so that they believe that the true identification of a cowboy is his can of Copenhagen©.
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
Every Man is His Own Worst Enemy
Clay Sauls
Like many plebes here at the U.S. Naval Academy, I am in trouble quite a bit. I know my rates. I study hard, but at the end of the day I end up getting fried. Do my upperclassmen enjoy harassing me? Perhaps, but maybe I could shed a little more light on the subject.
It all started with the first football game of the season. Navy played Temple, and all of the sportswriters predicted that Navy would win by at least twenty points. Bound and determined to keep with tradition, I decided to bet on the game. One of my upperclassmen proposed that if Navy won by sixteen points or more, I could relax during our daily yelling sessions, chow calls, but if Navy didn’t meet these expectations I would have to urinate kindergarten style with my pants at my ankles, my shirt folded up under my chin, and my pride out the window. As the game drew to a close, the whole town of Annapolis celebrated. Navy beat Temple thirty to nineteen. I, on the other hand, stood up and walked slowly to the male’s head to begin my punishment. I received several comments and even more stares as a result of my blunder.
One would think that after such humiliation I would have surely learned my lesson. One would think wrong in this case. The following week, Navy played Rutgers, and of course, I continued my streak of stupidity. This time I bet our Company Training Officer. If I won, I could enjoy music, videogames, and movies all week. My shipmates heard about my little wager and decided to join in on it too. Navy met destruction, and I did as well. The penalty for our loss was the traditional Marine Corps ‘motivator’ haircuts. Place your hand on the top of your head so that the heel of your hand is resting on your forehead. If someone cut off the hair around your hand, you would have a ‘motivator’. Naturally, the fact that I initiated the bet didn’t make me very popular. I didn’t understand it. How could I be so unlucky twice in a row?
I had to stop betting on things that I had no control over, so I made it simpler. I wagered that I could get the Superintendent’s daughter to accompany me to dinner in Dahlgren Hall. This was no random gamble. One of my friends moved to the Academy from Naples, Italy where the Superintendent was a commander of a base before coming to the Naval Academy. By chance, my friend went to an all-American high school in Naples with the Superintendent’s daughter. Knowing this, I asked my friend to get me a date with her, and she reluctantly agreed. I can’t describe how nervous I was as I approached the Battle of Midway Memorial where we arranged to meet. I thought something terrible would happen. Maybe one of my upperclassmen didn’t know who I intended to bring to dinner and would ask her perverted questions. I would surely face the Superintendent’s wrath when his lovely daughter returned home drenched with her own tears and in desperate need of formal counseling. Who was I kidding? I didn’t have any control over the situation. Not only would I lose the bet, but I would get kicked out of the Naval Academy. They might even court-marshal me. I had to escape as fast as possible, but I had passed the point of no return. We had already made eye contact, and I was probably smiling like an idiot at that point. Even though I most likely looked terrified, I introduced myself and attempted to look normal. We strolled into Dahlgren Hall and made our way to the 20th Company tables. When we arrived, I was greeted by cheers, shocked faces, and high-fives all around. Fortunately, dinner passed rather quickly. A few of my shipmates attempted to get her to come over to their table, but I guess my fancy new haircut kept her sitting next to me. Just when all seemed well with the universe, my squad leader ordered me to escort my date home and thank the Superintendent himself for allowing his daughter to be near a screw-up like me. “Well,” I thought, “I’ve lived a long eighteen years. Hopefully, my death will be quick and painless.” As we left Dahlgren, my date told me something amazing. “My father’s out of town on business,” she whispered, “My mom is home though, but don’t worry she’ll be nice.” We reached her front door where she opened it and invited me inside. I unwillingly entered and followed her as she led me around the house. The inside of the house looked as if some dignitary was due to arrive any moment. Reception rooms filled with the finest furnishings awaited the appearance of some notable VIP. Anticipation overwhelmed me as she took me to the living room where her mother was lounging. As we entered the room, an older woman wearing her comfortable evening garb looked up from the newspaper she currently entertained and smiled as if she expected me. She immediately rose and rushed over to greet me. “Good evening ma’am,” I stuttered, “I’m Midshipman Fourth Class John Sauls. Thank you so much for allowing me to escort your daughter to dinner this evening.” She thanked me for accompanying her home and asked us how the evening went. After a few short minutes of conversation, I decided that I needed to leave before I said something stupid. A wave of relief rushed over me as I strutted out of the house and back into my world. Finally, a bet worked out. I won and no one was mentally scarred, killed, or court-marshaled in the process. Of course, I enjoyed my new title as the company stud for a few days which made the trauma worth while.
Most of the time, I simply get myself into trouble through my crazy antics. Whether it’s “reconing” a projector, pretending to be a youngster, or making wild bets that hardly ever serve my interests, I create difficult situations for myself. I might be my own worst enemy most of the time, but at least there are those few exceptions when fortune favors the bold.
iPod Fever
Scott Keelan
The iPod craze has certainly swept the nation. In fact, a recent study revealed that ninety-two percent of music-player customers purchased Apple’s product. I admit that I contributed to said statistic. Prior to purchasing my iPod I came across countless advertisements, but one in particular caught my attention. The attached advertisement employs Apple’s immediately recognizable use of silhouettes against a bright background. Although the ad may have attractive, cosmetic attributes, there exist multiple underlying aspects of the advertisement which dictate how it operates. Characteristics such as color and design contrast, a lack of captions, sexuality, and irony all contribute to the advertisement’s appeal towards tech-savvy and fashionable individuals.
Perhaps the most noticeable aspect of the advertisement exists as the definitive contrast of the silhouette figures, the bright background, and the white iPod. Just as the color contrast of the advertisement stands out, the ownership of an iPod similarly makes the customer stand out. Sporting a fancy iPod serves as a statement of wealth, affluence, and privilege. The white headphones serve as the “hip” item to wear and the cool thing to do. The definitive color contrast not only grabs an audience’s attention, it also suggests that the ownership of an iPod will help the audience attract individual attention on their own.
The lack of captions or any written advertisement at all expresses an exclusivity about the iPod. The absence of writing and overt messaging suggests a uniqueness in the ownership of the device as part of an inside group. The advertisement clearly assumes that the audience already knows about, and can instantly identify, the item. Such distinctiveness effectively draws the prospective buyer into a desire for the iPod in order to become a part of such an elite group. Apple’s use of signature advertisement techniques creates a sort of clique composed of iPod owners. Ownership has snowballed to the point where it has become outdated and unorthodox to own any media player besides an iPod. The lack of writing suggests an unspoken correlation to a special society and it speaks volumes to the audience.
The many design contrasts throughout the advertisement significantly contribute to how the ad operates. The “clothes” the silhouettes wear serve as another aspect of how the advertisement operates. Although the exact details of the individuals’ garments are left to the imagination, features such as the man’s bowler hat and the woman’s early twentieth century style dress effectively grab the attention of the audience. Just as wearing a bowler hat was a fashion statement, flaunting an iPod similarly declares style. The iPod is as much of an entertainment device as a fashion accessory used to increase attractiveness and gain attention. The emphasis of the white iPod against the black figure suggests that perhaps the device served as the deciding factor, or stimulated the attraction, between the woman and the man. Additionally, the obvious contrast between the traditional clothing of the dancers and the advanced technology of the music device effectively grabs the attention of the audience and increases the iPod’s appeal.
It is also interesting to note that the man, wearing the iPod, leads the woman in the dance. This suggests, even subconsciously, male dominance and a reaffirmation of traditional social norm. Similar to the leading dance partner, iPod ownership has become a part of a trend. The owner of the device becomes the desirable trend-setter and thus continues the development of an iPod monopoly. A prospective iPod customer cannot help but imagine leading the social dance in flaunting the most popular piece of technology.
One final aspect of the advertisement exists as the underlying theme of irony in the picture. For example, one can only imagine how both of the dancers can dance to the music if only the man wears the head phones. It is fairly ironic that the woman can dance to music that she can’t even hear. Additionally, note how the silhouettes blend together to form a common black object while the iPod itself serves as anything but a common object. Such an ironic contrast effectively draws in the curiosity of the audience into the iPod’s charm. Both examples of irony are not necessarily the most obvious aspect of the advertisement but do act subtly to gain the interest of a potential customer through its intriguing design.
Literally millions of individuals have caught the iPod fever. Apple’s advertisement employs multiple techniques and characteristics that successfully attract an individual’s interest. Their use of design and color contrast, a lack of captions, and irony skillfully appeal to their target demographic. The surface characteristics of what the advertisement is doing are not nearly as important as how the ad effectively accomplishes its purpose. By employing subtle techniques, the designers of the ad effectively capture the audience’s attention, as well as their wallets.
Ignorance is Bliss
Adam Garfrerick
The traditional role of an advertisement is to briefly display and explain a product’s desirable qualities in an attempt to entice the public into buying it. However, advertisers have developed a new method of advertising that focuses on appealing to the consumer in any way possible, even if the produced ad has nothing to do with the product. This method often is characterized by the use of beautiful models, humor, and “tough guy” images which primarily appeal to the audience’s “manhood” or “coolness”. Preferring the new method of advertising, the makers of the beer, Michelob Ultra, have created a somewhat bewildering advertisement in an attempt to target a new beer market, the “fitness junkies.” The add looks typical on first observation with the vivid condensation of the sole beer bottle appealing to the viewers’ senses; however, the advertisers integrate different background elements like the towel and the words, “NO SWEAT” to capitalize on the ignorance of the health-conscious consumer who “lives in the gym.”
In the ad, the advertisers first attempt to portray an idealized flavor and quality of the beer by the use of visual images. The picture of the bottle itself is so perfect, that it implies a taste that is far superior to any other beer on the market. The detail and perfection of each droplet of water on the bottle and in the surrounding area causes the viewer to imagine the beer’s refreshing qualities. In accentuating this image, the advertisers seem to strategically place each individual bead of water to show just how cold and refreshing an ice-cold Michelob Ultra can be. This typically triggers the memories of viewers, causing them to remember the last time they had an ice-cold beer on a hot day. The perfect condensation pairs with the lighting in the picture, which gives the beer rich amber color that accentuates the label. The label’s traditional looking logo, featuring the eagle and Michelob design, gives an image of quality and timelessness to the beer. The advertisers expect the audience to assume that a long standing beer company with an excellent reputation will produce none other than the highest quality beer.
In their most unconventional technique, the advertisers try to appeal to the health-conscious beer consumers by portraying the beer as a light, workout beer. In doing so they personify the beer as something the health-conscious can identify with. The beer is seemingly made out to be a person who has just finished a workout and is dripping with sweat. The towel is draped around the beer bottle as if it was just leaving the gym and wiping of its sweat or, in the case of the bottle, condensation. This image does have a comic effect but its message is more important in appealing to the consumer. The ad implies that the beer works out with the drinker, by having lower calories and “carbs” than an average beer, and is the perfect accompaniment to a hard day of working out. Ironically, what is most appealing about this technique is its hypocrisy. Average consumers, at first glance, would think that the notion of a workout beer is preposterous, but would be so intrigued by the claim, that they would desire to study the add more closely and to see where this claim originated from. Then seeing the low “carb” and calorie claim on the ad, they would be convinced to drink the beer as a healthier substitute for normal beer.
The quality that makes the ad so bewildering is its display of conflicting strategies in enticing the consumer. Though the ad primarily appeals to the consumers’ sense of taste and health consciousness, it integrates the contrasting theme of manliness to appeal to a wider base of beer drinkers. In the add the phrase “NO SWEAT” is written in bold letters and is supposed to pair with the towel to give the viewers an image of hard workouts. This image of a workout followed by a round of beers does connect with most males, but the ad conflicts with the perception of manhood itself. In the view of general society, a “real man” is tough and drinks plenty of beer; however, he never watches his figure. The idea of calorie counting and dieting has traditionally been associated with females and feminine products. This ad would be quite appealing to a young lady who enjoys fitness and partying, but a real man would work out and drink “real beer.”
The advertisers of Michelob Ultra make compelling arguments for their beer with the use of imagery and a few bold words. The beer at first seems remarkably appealing because it looks refreshing, has low “carbs” and calories, and supposedly has all the taste of a normal beer. However, the focus on the health conscious community is utterly preposterous. No matter what companies do to beer, it is not a healthy drink and definitely is not the right choice of beverage after a hard workout. Yet, when the general public is factored into the consideration of effectiveness, the strategy is ingenious. Advertisers seem to know that consumers are generally ignorant and gullible when it comes to advertisements. Though some men might avoid the beer because of its diet aspects, a large majority of consumers, upon seeing the ad, think: “I like working out. I do not want to be fat. I love beer. I want Michelob.” The Michelob advertisers know this thought process and realize that more ignorant consumers are the more they will buy. In the world of business ignorance truly is bliss.
From the Past--Sample Successful Papers on Assignment #1
Building Blocks of the Past
Andrew Faulk
They are not prevalent in my mind as I walk from class to class, or talk to my brother over the phone; in fact I rarely think of them at all. For all intents and purposes they phased out of my life, yet when asked what possession matters most to me I can only help but reminisce humorously-and a little wistfully-about my LEGOS.
It feels as though LEGOS were with me since the dawn of time. I remember the very first time I moved, because that was when I received my first LEGO set. I was three years old, living in Lafayette, Louisiana and my family decided to move from our home in Turtle Creek to a house in Amber Street. I remember my dad handing down to me a small box with the picture of a burly red-bearded pirate on a makeshift raft fending of a shark using a curved, silver sword on the high seas. He opened the box, careful not to destroy the picture, and upended it releasing one small, hole-speckled see-through bag filled with LEGOS. The box also contained a manual of directions, which was ridiculous because the entire set totaled around eight pieces. My dad made a pointed effort to use every step in the manual until he assembled the raft, pirate and shark just like the picture on the box. This instilled in me an abnormal enthusiasm for following instructions to the letter. My dad left me to my devices and continued the move. I remained on an ocean of white carpet for untold hours battling the solitude of the open sea and sharks with my pirate. I was completely comfortable with my isolation, preferring my inner thoughts and dialogues to any other endeavor.
I became fascinated by the artwork on the box. Most of my imagined settings came from variations of the picture: I became intimately aware of the rise and fall of the waves, the splash of the lunging shark held at bay by the parrying thrust of the pirate, and eventually, the little white pricing marked three dollars and fifty cents on the top right hand corner of the box. I knew what that meant. It meant that every penny I earned brought me closer to my next set. By the age of seven I became the original Wendy’s commercial client; but instead of pricing everything in relation to how many Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers I could by, I priced things in relation to their worth in LEGOS. I learned the value of hard work, savings, and patients through the value of my next LEGO set.
Amber Street was not in the best of neighborhoods so my Mom elected to home school my brother Jeremy and me rather than send us to the nearby dilapidated public school. My fervent attitude towards LEGOS was infectious: my brother, my only classmate and constant companion caught the obsession. I could never bring myself to destroy any set made by my meticulous adherence to instruction because I doubted my creative ability to better a model. My brother was the complete opposite. He would build each set according to the rules, and then quickly destroy them to create something new. I used to sit and watch as he made stealth airplanes out of all black pieces, or buildings with secret compartments and rooms, sometimes giving him pointers on how to improve his creation, but never creating my own. LEGOS instilled in me the desire for conformity although their slogan was centered on creation, imagination.
I moved to San Antonio with my family at the age of seven. I started taking my LEGOS to the Vineyard, our new family church, and playing in the back because it was too close to the move to make any friends, and the services were always too incomprehensible to understand. I had my new Ice-Breakers LEGO set, an air plane featuring bright, see-through orange skis for landing gear, a detachable radar system for communication, and a pilot touting a frost resistant suit with a white and orange helmet doubling as a communications device. My mission was to explore the uninhabitable ice planet Hoth. On the desolate planet Hoth, in the back tables of the Vineyard, I met my best friend Bradley Venable. Their was no formal introduction; he just sat down on the table with me, sporting his Ice-Breaker tank with six white wheels and a three man crew with exploration computers and equipment--a fifteen dollar set which outranked my seven dollar and fifty cent one. We had a silent agreement that the planet must be explored, and while we had different opinions on the missions or on what needed to be found, we had an alibi: our LEGOS. I dislike talking on the phone, preferring the simplistic and honest form of actions to words; that day I met someone who spoke to me in my preferred language.
When I turned twelve my Mom decided to stop home schooling us and look to a career of professional teaching. At the age of thirty six she went to college at Trinity University to get her Masters and enrolled my brother and me in public school. I suddenly found myself immersed in a completely new world. Instead of one classmate I had many; instead of the solitude of an afternoon playing Star Wars galactic battle with my brother and the newest LEGO set I could afford, I found myself hanging out with friends at school and doing homework at night. My brother and I remained close, but I no longer had time to play LEGOS. I felt lost…lost in a world without ice planets, pirate ships and space shuttles. However, I knew how to follow directions and create the perfect set, and I knew that in order to succeed in my new environment I had to follow a new set of rules. LEGOS faded from my life, but vestiges of their importance remain; forever the building blocks of my childhood.
The Racing Shell
Scott Keelan
Six of the fastest boats in the nation, all lined up side by side, sat in anticipation of the start. Months of practice and conditioning lead up to that very moment, the last few seconds of silent anxiety before the starting gun. Every individual was in a reflective state of meditation with sweaty palms, a pounding heart, and heaving chests. The referee made the final announcements, raised the flag and…sounded the gun. Instantly, six crews exploded off the starting dock, only the coxswains and the sound of the oars rushing through the placid water broke the silence. Most evident was the precise fluidity and highly developed coordination of each crew as it sliced through the course and advanced towards the finish line. Only the most dedicated and emotionally determined crew would take the gold.
When a crew has reached perfect harmony, carving through the water like a hot knife cutting through butter, it has truly achieved nirvana. Such a feat cannot be accomplished without the racing shell, which serves as a medium between the rower and the water. The clichés of other sports: teamwork, perseverance, and dedication are born within the shell’s hull. However, the racing shell serves as a representation and delineation of the rower that powers the boat. The analysis of the bond between a rower and his boat offers the observer multiple characteristics of the rower’s personality and identity. I believe that many of my personal qualities are evident through the racing shell.
One of the first lessons learned by a novice rower is that when in the boat, when in the sanctity of the racing shell, all rowers are expected to keep silent. The only people talking while out on the water are the coach and the coxswain. This fundamental rule is established in order to maintain the highest level of concentration and to reduce the number of distractions. Personally, I embrace this restriction. Perhaps one of my most evident characteristics is that I am introverted and reticent. Also, I am often identified as reserved and taciturn. My participation in crew and the time that I have spent sitting in the shell has highlighted these characteristics. When in the boat, not only are the rowers not allowed to talk, but the boat is more efficient when silent communication is exercised. Although the rowers may not be able to communicate verbally, their physical actions inside the racing shell express a significant amount of information about each individual’s personality. I often avoid verbal confrontation and through my actions of observed silence, my emotions are evident in either my intensity or lack there of. It is true that through the racing shell, the rower’s actions speak louder than his words.
I often remind myself of an inspirational quote: “The more sweat in training, the less blood in battle.” I thoroughly agree with this statement and believe that the harder a crew practices on the water, the faster it races. Furthermore, a properly maintained racing shell is crucial in both practice and competition. Just as the technique for the stroke is complex, the intricacies and details of the racing shell can be overwhelming. I take pride in thoroughly inspecting the boat and ensuring that its hardware is properly set to optimize efficiency. I think such actions not only exhibit my attention to detail, but also my structured lifestyle. Before every race, I feel somewhat obligated, as well as take pride in, performing a comprehensive inspection on every nut and bolt throughout the boat. I make sure that all the shoes are tied down, all the tracks are greased, and all the rigging is set to the proper calibration. This may seem slightly obsessive compulsive, but any overlooked detail could perchance malfunction in the middle of a race and sacrifice precious time and speed. It is through my inspection of the racing shell that I believe many of my personal characteristics of attention to detail and an organized lifestyle are revealed.
Each one of the eight seats throughout the racing shell has a personality of its own. For example, the bowman, located at the very back of boat, is generally one of the best followers of the group with his ability to stay in cadence at a distance. Furthermore, the stroke seat of the racing shell, the seat at the top of the boat, traditionally is considered the leader of the boat. The stroke seat is responsible for maintaining a consistent intensity and setting the overall tempo of the boat. During a race, the stroke seat must maintain his composure under pressure because his actions are magnified as they pass down the boat. Personally, stroke seat is my favorite position in the racing shell. I enjoy the responsibility that comes with the territory and the thrill of the trust the other seven men place in my hands. I wouldn’t say that my preference to stroke seat necessarily classifies me as a control freak; however I do prefer having authority and influence over certain situations. Not only do I believe my position in stroke seat reflects my need for continuity, I feel is also implies my preference to lead by principle.
Finally, I believe my sheer involvement in crew, simply my commitment to the racing shell, expresses a significant amount about my personality. Crew is not a very high contact sport and the time spent in the racing shell does not include much physical contact. Unlike other sports, there is no tackling, blocking, or boxing-out. I don’t feel that it is necessary to physically overpower the opponent through direct contact. While in the racing shell, I can establish dominance from a distance. I can maintain my gentle and temperate attitude and still come out victorious.
Since my involvement in rowing, the sport has nearly consumed my life. It is a huge time commitment and the majority of that time is spent rowing in the racing shell. Many of my personal characteristics are evident through my relationship with the boat. My observation and embrace of silence not only reflects my introverted attitude, it also conveys my reticent and reserved personality. My devotion and borderline religious dedication to the maintenance of the boat expresses my attention to detail and my organized and structured qualities. My position in the racing shell, specifically stroke seat, correlates to my preference towards management and responsibility over the situation at hand. Also, the limited amount of physical contact while in the racing shell reflects my temperance and placid attitude. I relish my time spent in the racing shell and enjoy rowing day after day. My participation in crew has been one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences through which I have grown not only physically, but individually as well.
Better to Be Re(a)d
David Watland
“Beat Army, Sir!” I shout at a volume only one who has completed plebe summer can match as I chop the seemingly endless staircase to 8-2. Finally, at the top, I square a corner and make a dash for the safety of my room.
“Sir, good afternoon, Mr. Johnson, Sir”
“Shine your shoes better, Watland”
I don’t look back. Finally I reach the spartan surroundings of the room I now call home. My eyes drift to the dust-free bookshelf. On it sits in glory my small collection of reading material, organized tall to small, left to right, as per regulation. Somewhere in the middle, flush to the edge of the shelf, sits a book of medium height and somewhat abnormal width labeled 圣经, Holy Bible. I ponder for a second how many people consider the Bible among their most meaningful possessions, and for good reason. This Bible is meaningful to me for another reason though. Inside the blue cover there are two columns of text, one in English, the other in Chinese. Somehow this is what that Bible represents: I associate with two cultures but don’t really belong fully to either.
My mind drifts back to the day I received the book. The air in late spring had the consistency of some sort of canned soup, at least in Chengdu, China. Anytime someone would step out from the refuge of the AC the unlucky soul would be immediately drenched in sweat. Street peddlers would pull up their shirts to air out their protruding bellies. Apparently in China it is more modest to show off only your navel and surrounding flab than just to take your shirt off. It was on one of these days I was playing pick-up basketball in the park with my so called crew. There with me was Brownrygg from South Africa; Ryan, the self-proclaimed gangster from Washington State; and Hunter a guy roughly my age who claims to be from Georgia but has spent 14 of his 17 years in China.
We were walking out of the park when we noticed a group of Chinese girls pointing and giggling. As a general rule the only thing Chinese girls like more than a Korean pop-star is a tall, handsome American. Gentlemen that we were we had no choice but to invite them out to dinner. In Chengdu dinner means hotpot, a traditional meal that consists of vegetables, tofu, rice noodles, and assorted animal parts boiled together in one big bowl placed in the center of the table. The rule of thumb when eating hotpot is that if there isn’t sweat pouring off your forehead, it’s time to add more hot peppers. After completing our meal, I wished my friends and the ladies “zai jian”, walked out the door, and signaled to a taxi to take me home.
I walked through my guarded gate into the palm-lined avenues of my apartment complex. Upon opening the door I remembered that this was the night my Dad returned home from Singapore. He walked into the living room and sat down next to me on the oriental sofa. After the perfunctory chatter he handed me the book. My father is in his late 40’s and has receding, graying hair. For the past 3 years he has been working with a NGO in China to help make people’s lives better. There are few people I respect more. He told me “You can bring this with you to the Naval Academy, and wherever you go you can remember China and home.”
I look at the characters and it brings that life flashing back to me, the life of carefree independence living overseas. It also brings intense emotions of loss, for the culture I loved but no longer live in, for the diversity of the international community that I just took for granted but now desperately crave.
I then turn to the English column. I read the ancient words “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” These are the words I have grown up with all my life. This is the culture of my birth but there is no joy in reading it. Traditional and clichéd it seems. The Chinese side is fresh and new, an adventure in linguistics, trying to figure out how the Chinese perceive and write the words of truth contained in the book.
Down the center runs a red ribbon bookmark. The color red stands for happiness in China: brides wear red wedding dresses. Back in the United States red stands for blood and communism. Which interpretation of the color is right? To me both make sense, but I rather prefer the Chinese version. This ribbon demonstrates how I like to look at different perspectives without initially labeling one right or wrong. My point of view contrasts sharply with Navy’s rigid view of right and wrong on just about everything. When I read the commandant’s standing orders and came to the fifth one, always do the right thing, I wonder what is the right thing? Is it whatever you tell me is right? Whatever the military tells me is right? Whatever America tells me is right? To me it seems only difference of perspectives. In some countries it is a great sin NOT to let your relatives cheat off your homework. In my class at school all the Koreans cheated off each other and they thought it was the right thing to do. I am reminded by that red ribbon to remain open-minded and not live my life within a box of closed prejudices and opinions.
I start to read the characters again. So many words I knew once I have forgotten over plebe summer and the ensuing weeks. Am I losing that part of my heritage, am I becoming a normal American again? As I close this book, this gift from my father, I think to myself, “I, like this Bible have two cultures influencing my life, and I am wary about labeling one better than the other. Perhaps I don’t know exactly who I am or where I am going, but for now that’s OK”. I don my cover, open my hatch, and scamper off to my next class.
Getting Stuck on the Stuka
Andrew Szoch
One of my most prized possessions is something that originally wasn’t even mine. It was an old piece of junk, something I found hidden away in a box full of plastic pieces. I took it out, and with the help of its original owner, made the JU 87 WW2 German Stuka model airplane my first rebuilding project.
My father built the dive-bomber a the same early age of 13. When I found the box full of all his old projects, it was interesting that the first plane I picked up and worked on was this one aircraft. As it turned out, that this had also been the first plane my dad built, and his personal favorite. When I went to ask him about it and if I could play around with fixing his model, he was excited in remembering his old days and some of the favorite machines he had built. I ended up getting a great deal – not only could I fix the plane, but he would help me with it as well as some others. Just like my dad (now and then), the excitement to start fixing the plane started building up inside me like a jet firing up before takeoff. But, as usual, my dad put a damperon that for a bit. In order to fix the plane, we needed to find all the correct parts and know where they go. Luckily, the plane was in good enough shape that it wasn’t missing too much, and the pieces were still in the box. I searched frantically until I found them, and hurried to my dad to find out what to do next. We needed glue. We had no model glue. We also didn’t have some paints we needed, so yet again, I had to wait a painful few hours until we went to the store, got the supplies, and came home ready to get started. Lunch time (more waiting). Finally, we had everything we needed: glue, parts, the plane, full stomachs, and 2 energetic kids.
To get started, we first needed to paint over all the old, faded spots. According to my dad, that also meant covering the parts that still looked fine so that they wouldn’t look different, and there would only be one shade where there is meant to only be one shade. He showed me how to shake the paint, brush the paint on, use thinner to correct mistakes, even the paint out, thinner to correct mistakes, find the shade we needed, open the paint, use thinner to clean the floor, set the parts out to dry, and use thinner and soap to clean our hands. By this time, we had used so much thinner we were both having a great time because we were so high on the fumes. Unfortunately, this fun had to wait again while the paint dried and we got a snack.
After snacking and looking through some of the other cool models (which included some tanks, Navy battleships, army trucks, American cars, and a beer keg flatbed truck), the aircraft was ready to be reassembled. We took out the toxic glue (because toxic dries faster than non-toxic), and found some of the main pieces to put back on. My father showed me how to put each piece on and how to support it so that it dries in the correct position. To put all the pieces on in one night would have been impossible, so we did as much as we could before dinner. After dinner, we did a few more, and went to bed. Before we even glued on the first piece, I should mention my father was teaching me how to do it properly. He knew that we would not finish the plane, and made sure I would be able to do it on my own while he was at work. I later finished it the next day using his training as my guidelines. He was ecstatic at the outcome. We took the plane to my room and, using fishing wire, hung it from the ceiling at an angle that made it look like it was flying down for a drop on a ship.
This fond experience between me and my father, brought together by the simple model airplane, is one of the first I have of a greatly improved relationship with my father. I gained a respect for him. He took his whole day off just to spend it with me. It wasn’t even about the plane for him; it was about making me happy and teaching me to love something he so loved as a child as well. He seems to follow the old proverb “Light a man a fire, and he’s warm for a night. Light a man on fire, and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” He lit me on fire with a great enjoyment of building models. He lit me on fire with a love of spending time with him and wanting to learn from him as much as I possibly could. He lit me on fire with an appreciation of what fathers are for their children and gave me the role model of what I want to be like as a father. On top of the newly discovered love for building models and the closer relationship with my father, the airplane reveals much more about me. It shows my ability to fix old things, and my joy in doing so. It shows my diligence and hard work starting with that one long day of fixing that model Stuka. It shows my perfectionism, because we did not leave anything untouched that I thought to be unacceptable (the plane now looks better than new quite literally). I learned patience, because model building is not at all something to hurry. And finally, it shows my acceptance and enthusiasm at trying new things as well as taking help from others. I could have easily just turned away at any point in the process of rebuilding the plane, but I decided to stick with it, even when I had to wait like the restless child I was to do the next thing. This Stuka represents for me all the hard work I have given in my life, all the new things I have had to learn and take on, and a wonderful relationship with my father that I know many people don’t have even as adults.
Or·gan·i·za·tion·
Steve Malinoski
“Put this card in front, I’ll be using it the most. Put this identification in the front pouch. It is of highest priority. Put the money in just that way, that way it’ll be easier to get out when zero hour comes. Don’t put that trash in there! You don’t need those cards in your way. Keep things in working order; keep your mind sharp.”
It tells a lot about who someone is and how one’s life is lived. It shows how much effort one puts into life. A wallet defines everything I am speaking about. It exemplifies one’s priorities; it exemplifies one’s interests. It matters to me. It is the essence of organization and thus, allows me to learn from it the basics of organization. Organization of the mind allows me to think clearly and work under pressure more effectively. Organization of my material possessions allows me to work more quickly and with more efficiency. Organization is the most important concept to have in my life because it allows me to live with less stress and to get more done with my time. My wallet is the medium for which my organization can be judged. It shows me what I’ve done and where I’m going next.
Once I have my priorities situated, I can move on in the day with ease of mind. I’ve got everything in just the right place in my wallet. “Identification card please?” Sure, I know exactly where that is before I even open the wallet. “Do you have change for a five?” Yup, I know that I have exactly 6 one dollar bills in my wallet. It may not be much money, but I know exactly what and where it is. No need to look to check: just open it up and grab five. Just as I have things accounted for in my wallet and correctly placed, I like to have everything accounted for in my mind and placed accordingly. No loose ends dangling. “Did I leave on the lights?” No. I’ve got things under control. “Where is my second period again?” It’s at Sampson Hall on the zero deck in room 04 with Professor O’Brien. It is imperative that I have that situational awareness. Keeping my mind organized requires me to keep my priorities straight: to know what’s coming, know where I’m going. “What should I do with this free period of mine?” I should do my English paper, of course. Just as I have everything in my wallet in order of priority, I have everything in my plan of the day in order. Organizing my mind matters to me because it allows me to work efficiently and think clearly.
To work quickly and efficiently, I need to have my material possessions organized as well. My wallet can be the gauge of this. If my wallet is in working order then the rest of my possessions will be too. “Is the business card in front?” No, not unless it’s my business. Keep that trash in the back. The credit card belongs up front, along with that card to the gym I’ve never gotten around to going to. Keep the books I use the most up front, near the book-end. No need to make things difficult. Organize things efficiently, the first time. “Can I see your Driver’s License?” It’s been a long time since I’ve been asked that question. But of course I have it. I’m always ready, always prepared. “Waiting on the line of a computer operated phone when it suddenly gives me the number I have been waiting half of my life for?” I’ve got a pad and pen. It’s right here. More than keeping things in working order; organization is always having the materials you need to complete the mission. It’s important to me because I’m always on a mission. Whether it is doing homework or carrying out daily errands, it is beneficial to me to always be organized and ready.
“So what’s in a wallet?” I always have my wallet. If I’m going somewhere without my wallet, it probably isn’t a very important place to be. It has everything I might need to stay organized materially. It’s organized in order of priorities, just as I try to organize my plan of the day in my mind. It matters to me because I like to always be ready and always be able to carry out my tasks quickly and effectively. No room for error. No room for wasting time to find things. No room. If can’t find it in 30 seconds, I don’t need that trash. The less space taken up the better organized I am. Organize it more effectively, prioritize things. Stay on top of things, don’t let them pile up and be forgotten. If I have too much going on, I organize the things in a planner. Or even on a piece of paper that is kept in my wallet.
Sample Successful Papers on Assignment #2
Sh*ttin’ and wishin’
Alex Pennington
My young face was contorted with confusion. I stood there curious, dumbfounded, trying to interpret what I had just been told. What did he mean? He is dad. He’s all knowing. This must be something really important. These thoughts floated through my head the first time I was blessed with the cherished family saying, “If you were shitting in one hand and wishing in the other, which one would fill up faster?” I must have been younger than 10 when I first heard it. Yet it would be several years until I was able to fully appreciate the saying.
Over the years I’ve spent countless hours examining this masterpiece of sayings. It raised many “smart” questions in my mind: Why would I be shitting in my hand? What if I was wishing for shit? What about people with only one hand? How would you measure the fullness of either hand? What if the wishing hand did fill up? As of yet I have not been able to answer all of these questions, but to do so would be impossible. While the questions will never find answers, show that if taken at face value the saying is ineffective and crude at best.
If you can manage to get past the idea of defecating in your own hand, the saying does offer some solid advice. It speaks to the idea of taking action, something that in this life and especially in an environment like the Academy is vital if one is to succeed. One cannot simply sit back and let the world pass by and expect to do well. By acting quickly and with some intelligence the amount of success that can be reaped is really quite surprising. I promise I’m not blowing smoke, for I have witnessed both sides of this saying (its deeper meaning that is).
As I limped through the kitchen in my underwear, a heavy leg brace making my walk look just as funny as my outfit, I felt especially bad for myself. I couldn’t stop looking back on that play. It wasn’t even a league game; how could I have torn my ACL for nothing!? Needless to say my mood was easily observed by those sitting at the breakfast table. When asked what was the matter, I sullenly replied, “I just wish this had never happened.” In line with the always warm and nurturing conduct of my family my father responded “Well, if you were shitting in one hand and wishing in the other, which one would fill up faster?” At first I did what I usually do with the things my dad says and immediately disregarded the statement. But, as time went on I started to give his words some thought, beyond my initial contempt.
The true meaning of that beautifully worded saying didn’t hit me completely until later that night when I was in the basement doing my rehabilitation exercises. Years of anger and confusion finally exploded in a cloud of understanding. Limping around whining about my problem would get me nowhere. The only way out of this situation was determined, persistent, hard work. This was not only true for my ACL rehabilitation, but for all things in life. What my father was so crudely trying to tell me is that those who strive for what they want in life and work hard to achieve set goals are the ones who succeed. Anyone can sit around and wish for great things to happen, but that won’t make then happen.
When this realization hit me I hobbled up the stairs as fast as I could eager to tell my father that I had solved the riddle. I thought of witty replies: “My shitting hand is full!” I was sure that this would be a great day. I had finally triumphed over my father. The anticipation reached its zenith when I rounded the corner into the kitchen. My guns were loaded.
With great enthusiasm and many expletives I revealed my newly gained knowledge to my father, explaining how I had finally figured it all out, that what it meant was to work for something rather than just dream. I thought I had won, that I had finally beaten the man. I had finished saying my piece and he stood there staring back. I could see he had taken what I’d said to heart. Patiently I awaited a hug, hand shake, prize medal, anything to commemorate this discovery. But it was not to be.
Slowly his blank expression curved into a warm, sinister smile and his eyes sparkled with a sparkle that only comes about when one truly has something evil to unleash. Then it hit my ears like a Mack truck. “Well son, all the meat in a pig’s ass is pork.” I reeled back in disbelief, my vision became cloudy, the room began to spin, and I thought I was going to be sick. I was once again in the land of confusion. n
Good Things Come to Those Who Work
C. S. Schwacke
It seemed to take an eternity. I stared blankly at the inverted ketchup bottle as my stomach roared and my hamburger grew cold. Painfully slowly, the gooey red paste inched its way down the neck of the bottle, seeming to pause and freeze in place every time I let my impatience get the better of me. Soon my face was as red as the ketchup itself. My grandfather, seeing my frustration, offered a calm comment: “good things come to those who wait.” His eyes brightened in a peculiar manner as a slight, crooked grin spread across his face. He smiled the way an old man smiles when he shares the kind of wisdom that only comes from years of experience. I would like to say that such wisdom instantly made sense to me, and that I immediately realized the value of patience, but to say that would be to lie. I was ten years old at the time, and I just wanted to eat my hamburger.
Finally a drop fell from the neck of the bottle; then another, and soon I had everything that a ten-year-old could possibly want: a hamburger and a glass of coke. I then dove head-first into my long-awaited meal and quickly forgot about what I had been told. Seven years later, life presented me the challenge of choosing where to spend the next four years of my life. I was then a junior in high school, where I had become rather well-adapted to a lifestyle of getting very good grades without having to work particularly hard. The weekends were my time to relax and do whatever I pleased – but then again, the time I spent in class seemed the same way. Life was easy. My friends and I were just cruising through the year, waiting to live our dreams of the college life as presented to us by Asher Roth. We all eagerly looked forward to the freedom and fun that would come from living on our own in America’s paradise: college. I applied to several different schools, including Pennsylvania State University (The Princeton Review’s #1 party school), the University of Southern California (Ranked at #10 in the same category by PubClub.com), and Columbia University (you get the point). Also among the schools I applied to, there was the U.S. Naval Academy.
Of course you’re probably wondering what the above paragraph has to do with the phrase “good things come to those who wait.” There are several simple answers to that question; I need to fill up three pages, I felt like mentioning Asher Roth in a college essay, and my decision to attend the Naval Academy was heavily influenced by the ideas and concepts behind the saying. So what exactly are those ideas and concepts?
Many people take quote at face value and assume that its meaning is literal; if you just be patient and wait, good things will happen. However that just isn’t true. Most of the time, taking action will yield equal or better results than simply waiting for events to take their course. As an example, the hungry ten-year-old version of me would have been much happier had he taken a butter knife and scooped the ketchup out of the bottle. It is rare that any negative results will come from taking action, and doing so is often productive. This leads us to the question: if it’s better to take action than to sit and wait, then why do good things come to those who wait?
The answer lies in the question. Good things come to those who wait, not those who sit and wait. The phrase does not imply that we should be passive; rather, it implies that we should be patient. It does not prevent us from taking initiative – it guides such initiative to yield long-term results through hard work. The point is that patience is a virtue which should be combined with our existing work habits. In applying patience in such a way, we learn to identify and capitalize on time-sensitive opportunities, and we develop the persistence to stick with a task.
That’s what ran through my mind seven years after the hamburger incident. I stared at my desk, covered with acceptance letters from various universities. Each had a small piece of paper for me to choose “yes” or “no,” and it was time to start signing on some dotted lines. I thought about how much fun it would be to go to a civilian college, have a great time while getting a good education, and I thought about how tough life would be at the Naval Academy. I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew that I’d be better off in the long run if I sold my soul to the Navy, but it just seemed so damn hard. Four years of what everyone described to me as “hell?” Could it be worth it?
It was then that my grandfather’s words came back to me. Good things come to those who wait. Not those who wait in silence, who wait passively, who wait because they lack the strength or conviction to take action and thus wait for life to pass them by, but those who wait and bear their struggles patiently, working hard and knowing that it will pay off in the end. It took a long time – seven years – for his advice to sink in, and it certainly wasn’t how he had meant it at the time, but it was then that I understood. I accepted my appointment to the U. S. Naval Academy, and now here I stand, waiting. I’m waiting for plebe year to end, I waited for plebe summer to end, and I’m waiting to ultimately receive my commission as a Naval Officer.
Of course, these aren’t things you can just stand around and wait for – good things don’t just come to those who wait, they come to those who work.
Talking Points for The Theatre of War: Two Plays by Sophocles
Sophocles’ Ajax and Philoctetes depict the challenges leaders face in balancing their individual sense of justice and dignity with their group loyalties. Ajax, Odysseus, Philoctetes, and Neoptolemus struggle with the following important leadership issues:
Honor and Justice, particularly the justice of retribution. In Ajax, Ajax struggles with the dishonor that follows the (unjust) awarding of Achilles’ armor to Odysseus, whom Ajax views as an unheroic schemer, rather than to Ajax himself. (War trophies were paramount in archaic Greek culture; there would be no such thing as the satisfaction of the ‘job well done’ without the accompanying symbol of success, so it is as if the truth of Ajax’s deeds had been denied.) After failing to slay the Greeks he deems responsible for his dishonor (Agamemnon, Menelaos, and above all, Odysseus), Ajax commits suicide, a troubling resolution to his shame. Odysseus, in turn, struggles with how to address Ajax’s madness and suicide, since Ajax had indeed tried to murder him but was nevertheless a great Greek hero. Odysseus and Ajax’s half-brother Teucer must also argue with Agamemnon and Menelaus about whether or not Ajax deserves burial and funeral rites (ultimately, they win the fallen warrior this most important of honors).
Obedience and the Duties of Leaders and Followers. In Philoctetes, the young hero Neoptolemus struggles with whether to help the deceitful, victory-first Odysseus trick the abandoned and injured Philoctetes into returning to the Trojan War with the bow of Herakles (the weapon to end all weapons), or whether to confess his deceit to Philoctetes and help him return home. Odysseus appeals to Neoptolemus’ loyalty to the Greek army; Philoctetes, who resembles Neoptolemus’ father Achilles in his unwavering resolution, appeals to Neoptolemus’ nature as a just and honorable man to defy the unjust goals of the tribe. Neoptolemus ultimately agrees to help Philoctetes return, but prevents the latter from killing Odysseus in revenge. (Ultimately, however, the demigod Herakles intervenes and orders them to accept their roles as the fated conquerors of Troy.)
Questions
1) Was Ajax’s suicide an appropriate response to his shame?
2) How should Odysseus respond to Ajax’s downfall?
3) What responsibilities does Odysseus have to Neoptolemus as (effectively) his superior officer?
4) What responsibilities does Philoctetes have to Neoptolemus as his moral superior and father-figure?
5) Is it acceptable for Odysseus to use deceitful means to achieve a goal that he (and perhaps he alone) regards as just?
6) Should Neoptolemus accept a tactic (deceiving Philoctetes) that, upon later reflection, he comes to regard as unjust?
7) Should Neoptolemus accept a strategy (returning Philoctetes to Troy to ensure Greek victory) that he later comes to regard as unjust?
8) Should Philoctetes have overlooked his (long-term) abandonment by the Greeks and accept the opportunity to return to Troy and lead them to victory?
Fortinbras Theme/Motif Lists
Truth
Horatio represents truth.
Pg. 8- Horatio says people must know the truth
Pg. 8-11- Horatio’s description of the events is to the whole truth, with every detail laid out. He is very meticulous in how he describes the event and answers the questions of Fortibras
Pg. 14- Horatio says that there is only the truth
Pg. 19- Horatio says he is going to tell the truth despite Fortibras
Pg. 22- Horatio states that the truth transcends death
Pg. 62- Horatio admits the truth is difficult to get people to believe
Fortinbras represents anti-truth.
Pg. 11- Fortinbras hides evidence by ordering them to clean up the scene and states that testimony is sufficient to describe and prove what happened
Pg. 14- Fortinbras fabricates a Polish Spy story to tell the people because he believes it would be more believable than the truth
Pg. 19- Orsic begins to believe the Polish spy story, revealed in his conversation with Horatio
Pg. 22- Fortinbras answers Horatio’s statement about truth with “but the truth can be ignored”
Scene 7- Fortinbras orders Orsic to become the spy
Pg. 48- Fortinbras becomes confused about his lie and has to set his story straight
Ghosts.
Pg. 25- It is stated that Polenius could never tell the truth
Scene 5- Gertrude and Claudius are buried in sacred ground to establish the lie and give it credibility
Pg. 39- Polenius states that nothing can move forward without truth
Pg. 43- Hamlet requires Gertrude to say she lusts for him (we don’t know if this is true or not)
Random.
Scene 4, Act II- reveals how even the truth has become clouded
Pg. 56- Hamlet describes truth with a metaphor about stones in the sand to leave a trail
Pg 57- The captain’s statement about Osric being released is truth with a dual meaning
The ghosts of truth will continue to haunt you until you release them by spreading the truth, otherwise the lie will kill you as it did Fortinbras.
Ophelia
p# 24- first appearance, ghosts do what they want.
p# 25- Explanation of condition: ghosts only reflect on what they did wrong in life and are waiting on a chance to fix it.
p# 26- womens’ “sexual peak” after death.
p# 35- rules are made to be broken.
p# 49- Hamlet killed Ophelia’s father.
p# 49- Ophelia just wants companionship, even if it’s in a tv.
p# 65-66- ironic, complaining about someone else complaining when they are both dead, but she thinks she is still alive.
Horatio’s role in Fortinbras
-Horatio’s character in this story represents the bewilderment and catastrophe of “Hamlet.” Although Hamlet is dead, Horatio never leaves his twisted story behind.
Ex. Horatio introduces Hamlet and ties him into the play (pg. 9)
-Horatio is also a direct example of the character Hamlet. He and Hamlet both go on a killing rampage and in turn die at the end of the story. Both murderous plots deal with avenging someone’s death, but ultimately screw over both characters. (Horatio in Fortinbras and Hamlet in Hamlet) pg. 63-end
Hamlet in the Tube
ACT I
Scene 6
Pg 30
-Describes the scene with Hamlet’s face in the TV box.
Pg 31
-Hamlet talks about the on/off button of the TV
Scene 7
Pg 35
Ophelia ask why Hamlet is in the TV
Pg 36
Ophelia turns the TV with Hamlet off, also references the TV manual.
ACT II
Scene 2
Pg 41-44
Hamlet still in the TV, orders Laertes to kill Claudius. Entire scene follows Hamlet as he directs Laertes and makes Gertrude apologize
Scene 3
Pg 47-48
Captain reports to Fortinbras that a box has exploded, Hamlet has escaped from the TV
As a ghost Hamlet must be punished for the mistakes he made while he was alive. Hamlet remains stuck in a television set because he could not take action and avenge his father. Claudius married Hamlet’s mother shortly after Hamlet’s father died. This angered Hamlet but he never did anything about it, he just got angry at his mother and Claudius. Since Hamlet never took any real action in life, he becomes forced to watch helplessly as all the actions of the future unravel in front of him. On page 36, Hamlet mentions to Ophelia that he has to get out of the box in order to get all the things he needs to do done. Hamlet explodes out of the television on page 48 because on page 42 Hamlet has Laertes repeatedly kill Claudius.
Education and Readings
Page 17 Fortinbras meantions that he wanted to go to college
· Horatio says he could teach Fortinbras
Page 19 Osric discusses philosophy
· HE discusses how the unexamined life is not worth living, a philosophical quote by Plato.
Page 21 Fortinbras uses philosophy again to attempt to rationalize a situation.
· He discusses how “he used to tell the truth…”
Page 45 Fortinbras displays his lack of education
· Horatio suggests he talks to Hamlet because Hamlet is educated
Page 47 Fortinbras decides to marry one of the Polish girls to get rid of Ophelia
· Horatio says that Fortinbras is making an educated decision
Page 47 Fortinbras discusses his parchment, mentored by Horatio
· “Persia, fine I’m ordering the army home again.”
Page 48 Fortinbras feels good about deciding to not kill Osric
The aspect of story in Fortinbras
Not only the story of Fortinbras, but also the story that Fortinbras creates and traps himself in.
· (Page 11) Fortinbras tells Osric and Horatio to, “go back to whatever room you’re in and write down everything that happened here….then maybe I can start to make up the truth.”
· (Page 14) Fortinbras says, “Personally I think we should just replace the whole story.”
· (p13): Fortinbras gives joking summarizes Hamlet (play, not person).
· (Page 15) Fortinbras elaborates his ideas. “and we can even add a lot of stuff about the horror when the royal Danes, each mortally wounded and/or poisoned, suddenly realized that Poland had achieved its ultimate revenge—blah, blah, blah.”
· (Page 15) Fortinbras says, “I bet it will be. It’s just so much better. Anyone can understand it. And the best think is, it gives me that historical reason-for-being that’s so important to a new king. You see? I’m here to save Denmark from an imminent attack by Poland. Of course, if you want to tell people that ridiculous story of yours, be my guest. But I’ll bet mine’s the one that catches on. In fact, Captain, I want you to promulgate the true story you’ve just heard.
· (Page 16) Fortinbras says, “Relax. If people believe your story we won’t have to invade anywhere. Then again, if they believe my story—well I’ll have to invade Poland. And of course, I’ll have to find a Polish spy.
· (p39): Polonius’ ghost says that they can’t be free unless the story is told.
· (p45): Fake story is causing chaos with Fortinbras’ army, they won’t stop conquering.
· (p48): The mix of all the ghosts stories and his own fabricated story start to drive Fortinbras nuts.
· (p50): Ophelia begs to go with fake story instead of pushing for the truth.
· (p53): Fortinbras once again ignores a story, this time about the Maidens. Finds out they’ve been taught some English by some of his troops.
· (p54): Hamlet explains that the story you leave behind keeps you alive forever, because even though you may be gone, it still remains.
· End: All the main characters are dead, when the Maiden’s find the book Fortinbras was given by Hamlet and read it, all the ghosts disappear.
· IDEA: The real story that is left behind is important. It is how people are kept alive, in thought at least, through all of time and how a fake story can greatly change the course of events (the whole drowning incident with the uber army).
For Fortinbras: Story Theme
The whole play deals with some sort of “story” to tell. (story vs. truth?)
Ø The play immediately begins with Hamlet wanting Horatio to tell the story that explains what happened.
- “And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” (pg 1)
Ø Fortinbras fabricates a story with the “Polish spy”
- Fortinbras tells Horatio (about the true story) “Personally, I think we should just replace the whole story.” (pg 14)
- “We need a story that’ll do something for us: explain the bodies, preserve the monarchy, give the people some kind of focus for all their—I don’t know—anger, loss, whatever. And most of all, something that’ll show people that everything that’s happened up till now had to happen so that I could become king.” (pg 14)
- He claims it to be a “true story” (pg 15)
Ø Hamlet’s story
- Hamlet wants his story to be told for the sake of his reputation and the mark he “made in the world. The great lesson [he has] to teach.” (pg 50)
- Hamlet gives Fortinbras an untitled book which Fortinbras gets into (pg 56)
- The story ends with the sentinels and maidens drawn to the book after the maidens reach for it after Barnardo prepares to throw it over the battlement (pg 66)
Paper Assignment #5--Drama Due date: 11 Dec
Length: about 3 pages
Audience: your classmates and instructor
Expectations:
Consult Assignment #1 to recall elements already introduced. For pronouns click here and click here; for subject-verb agreement (click here. In this paper also concentrate on 1) limiting the use of the "to be" verb and the passive voice (click here ); 2) writing fully developed paragraphs that have a clear idea and organization and occur within the paper in the best, most logical, and most persuasive sequence; 3) concluding your paper in a way that doesn't just restate the thesis (that's way too mechanical!); 4) eliminating misplaced and dangling modifiers (click here for a discussion of this grammatical problem); and 5) employing the comma (click here), semi-colon (click here), and colon (click here) with some finesse.Purpose: a) to explain to your classmates and instructor how some specific element of one of the plays we will have read helps to develop an overall theme and/or character; 2) to enter into a matter of debate or a problem about some element of one of the plays and to construct an argument that proves a position on it; or 3) to explain specifically how one of the plays--something about it--communicates something personally meaningful to you.
Here are some suggestions for the first two approaches. In addition, topics will likely grow out of both our discussions of the plays and the quizzes and short writings on them.
Option a)A particular passage or symbol or supporting character and how it functions to develop meaning:
Fortinbras
the motif of "story"
incongruities of diction and perhaps ethos
miscommunications
education
the book and reading
Ophelia
Hamlet in the TV
Horation
also focus on some way in which Fortinbras highlights and brings into view some element of Shakespeare's Hamlet
Hamlet
Osric
Hamlet's interest in drama
Polonius
ghost and problems with timing of its appearance
questions of Hamlet's relationship with his real father
ways in which play makes Hamlet's problem one about his relationship with his mother
some aspect of the graveyard scene
questions of whether or not Hamlet develops or learns anything about himself
Theatre of War
feint, but persistent motif of father-son relationships
the motif of borders and violation of borders
the focus in the plays on pain, physical pain
the heroic world-view, and the extent to which it rules to plays
what war does to people
the danger and need for simplistic thinking
"strongest muscle is the tongue" (p. 80)
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
movie version--
some way in which it takes away from the drama
some way in which it successfully emphasizes some feature of it
which ending works better in terms of what character or theme
discuss the plays animal imagery and its contribution to the view of human nature it provide
explain how the missing character Skipper amplifies theme or character
"Mendacity is a system that we live in"--explain how that is true in the play in more than obvious ways