Naval Academy Expects West Point to Announce *New* Cybersecurity Initiative

  POSTED ON: Friday, December 13, 2019 1:58 PM by USNA Cyber Operations

The United States Naval Academy (USNA) has learned that the United States Military Academy, or West Point, after lagging behind USNA in cybersecurity and in the study of cyber science for several years, will be announcing its unique cybersecurity initiative, slated to begin fall semester 2020.

West Point spent several months brainstorming and orchestrating the new plan that will not only make their cyber program incomparable to other service academies’ programs, but will also make their network impenetrable. The much-anticipated initiative will replace all cadet laptops with typewriters by the end of academic year 2021.

The change comes as a result of issues identified by the USMA Board of Visitors earlier this year. In October, the Board examined challenges presented by the rapidly advancing and continually changing cyber domain and came to two conclusions: first, the USMA Cyber Research Center needs to find a novel and unique way to thrust itself ahead of other service academies’ cyber programs; and, second, Navy football will beat Army when they meet for the 120th time in 2019. 

The typewriters, priced at $120.00 per unit, will explore a different angle of cyber defense by minimizing the attack surface of the West Point cyber infrastructure. 

With Navy favored to win Saturday’s football game, West Point decided to take these drastic measures in a last-ditch effort to surpass Navy in at least one focus area. Experts predict that West Point’s complete lack of network connectivity will make it impossible for the Naval Academy’s cutting-edge Cyber Science Department to compete with West Point. Taxpayers everywhere will eagerly observe the results of this change, and West Point cadets have expressed their excitement about the added physical strength they expect to build from carrying typewriters rather than laptops. 

Confident in this planned cyber initiative, West Point is now exploring a potential math initiative that would entail replacing all calculators with abacuses to maintain curricular consistency and further develop cadets’ physical strength. 

This reporting, brought to the reader by the Naval Academy Class of 2020 cyber operations majors, is completely false with exception of the following: Navy will beat Army in football in 2019 -- GO NAVY, BEAT ARMY!

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